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A Cultural Divide Leads To Trouble

Immigrants Warned About Sex With Minors

By Brigid Schulte
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, March 27, 2005; Page PW01

She was 16, but with her small stature, enormous brown eyes and eighth-grader's innocence, she looked more like 13. He was 24. She was sure she loved him.

He had a job in a hotel. He was good to her, respectful. And it thrilled her when she'd hear him say, "No one will ever love you the way I love you."


The state has started a campaign warning that sex with minors is a crime. (Virginia Department Of Health)

If they had been in El Salvador, the country where both were born, no one would have thought twice about their relationship. There, older men often get involved with women far younger. Girls routinely married at 14 or 16. Here in the United States, however, things are different.

When the girl became pregnant last year, her mother turned in her daughter's beloved to the Alexandria police. He was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He faced jail time and a hefty fine.

Theirs is no "Romeo and Juliet" story of fresh, young love, explains Patricia Benavidez, a victim outreach specialist in the Alexandria Commonwealth Attorney's Office who, for confidentiality reasons, could not release the names of the couple. It is a story that is becoming more common, although one that is often kept secret in the local Latino community.

In Virginia, the age of consent is 18. Adults having sex with 13- to 15-year-olds may be found guilty of felony "carnal knowledge" and face up to 10 years in jail and steep fines. Adults having sex with minors 16 to 18 may be guilty of "contributing to the delinquency of a minor," a misdemeanor that can carry jail time and a fine.

"These young girls think it is Prince Charming that they've found," Benavidez said. "They're young, everything is beautiful and they really don't think about how difficult it is to raise a kid. They cannot see the big picture.

"The guys say, 'She never told me how young she was,' or, 'It's okay because she said it's okay, or the parents said it's okay.' But it's not," Benavidez said. "This is something that's going to damage the child's life, because you're going to have kids raising kids."

For public health officials and victim advocates such as Benavidez, the sexual relationship between an older man and younger girl is one of exploitation. An older man can more easily control and manipulate a young girl -- at least until she becomes older. By then, she may have dropped out of school with little education, having to raise a couple of children and with few options. In addition, all the statistics point to young, single, uneducated mothers as being consistently among the poorest of the poor.

For five years, Lorena Escalante has worked with Hispanic sexual assault victims for the Alexandria Office on Women. In that time, she has seen the reporting of these kinds of cases rise, even though some parents and those involved don't see anything wrong.

"Some parents don't mind," Escalante said. "If the guy is rich, has money or a job, it may be more accepted. But most of the parents I work with, they don't want their daughter to get married or pregnant so early. They want her to finish high school and have more opportunities than they had. They'll say, 'You want to end up like me, cleaning houses?' "

In the past year, Escalante has worked with more than 100 victims of sexual abuse. Nearly one-quarter were young Hispanic girls having sex with older men. An "eye-popping" number were only 14 years old, she said.

"And these are only the ones that have been reported," Escalante said. "It happens a lot. Of the 23 cases, two got married, 17 agreed to go forward with prosecution and four were confused and didn't know what to do.

"This is statutory rape. This is a very, very serious crime. But it's hard for prosecutors to prove. If they are in love, the girl doesn't think she is a victim, and the family doesn't want to cooperate."


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