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Bush, Flipping for Europe

By Art Buchwald
Tuesday, March 1, 2005; Page C04

No one thought that after the election President Bush would be the one doing all the flip-flopping. In his first term, he made a lot of countries mad at him when he invaded Iraq, but he didn't seem to care.

We Americans (except for the antiwar traitors) supported him.

Now he's flip-flopping, and on his trip to Brussels he told Europe we need each other and the United States wants to be friends again.

The State Department's assistant secretary for flip-flopping explained the new policy to us. "The president now loves everybody."

"Even France?" I asked.

"Yes, even France. Americans can once again eat French-fried potatoes, French onion soup, go on French leave and even French kiss."

I said, "That is certainly a flip-flop. What about Germany?"

"We don't see anything wrong with Germany anymore. You can now order sauerbraten and schnitzel, drink beer from Munich, and German kiss."

"That's nice," I said.

"We have opened an entirely new policy in our relations with, as Don Rumsfeld used to call it, the 'Old Europe.' "

"This means we don't have to boycott our friends anymore?" I asked.

"Au contraire. We have to embrace them and tell them how much we love them," he replied.

"Just when you put Americans in one mode, you ask us to change to another one."

"It can be done. If the president is willing to make up with the countries he thought did him in, everyone should do the same thing."

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