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You Gotta Have Faith

By Art Buchwald
Thursday, April 21, 2005; Page C04

Jeepers creepers, the Republicans' dirty secret is out. The Democrats who are filibustering Congress are against people of faith. Leading the attack is Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, who speaks for all of God's children in the GOP.

Zack, the zealot, clued me in.

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I asked, "Are you calling everyone who filibusters against judicial nominees an infidel?"

He replied, "What would you call them?"

I said, "Some of my best friends are Democrats, and I personally know several who go to church."

"That doesn't mean they have any faith. You can't believe in the Almighty if you don't believe in President Bush."

I said, "I see what you mean, but if you play the religious card, aren't you tearing down the wall between church and state?"

"You don't win political elections unless you mix the two."

"If you declare Democrats people of no faith, what happens to the two-party system?"

"We will be stronger than ever, God willing."

"Is there some other way of attacking the opposition than saying that they are infidels?"

"The big lie is always the best. You hear it once, you hear it twice, and decide where there is smoke there is fire. The third time you hear about it, you are sure it is true."

I said, "I have a solution. Let the filibuster rule stand, but a senator may only read from the Bible."

"Senator Frist has rejected that. He wants an up-and-down vote on judges who will adhere strictly to the Constitution and will make rulings to satisfy the religious right."


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