This spring, Shelly Sorensen happily signed a contract to sell her Potomac house for the asking price.
But then, a few hours later, she received two more bids, both offering more money. She wasn't so happy anymore.
Shelley and Severin Sorensen stand with thier family in front of their house they bought in Potomac, Md. from left, Hayden, 11, Britton and Bryce, both 10, front, Skylar, 4, and an exchange student from China, Sabrina Liu. At first Shelley was convinced they had made a mistake buying a house half the size of their previous one, but now she is getting used to it.
(Cathy Kapulka - The Washington Post)
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There was little she could do, though. She was contractually obligated to sell to the first buyer at the lower price.
Around the same time, Amy Collins, a first-time home buyer, bid for a townhouse in Alexandria. Her offer included an escalation clause that went "to the moon," obliging her to top bids from other potential buyers.
She included the clause because she had already lost out in competitive bidding for four properties and she wanted to make sure she won this time. She did.
But the house appraised for less than the purchase amount, upsetting enough. A few months later, a similar townhouse nearby sold for thousands of dollars less, even more upsetting.
Both Sorensen and Collins are suffering from remorse, that nagging feeling that they could've, should've done better in their real estate transactions.
Remorse is not uncommon among home buyers and sellers, say psychologists and real estate agents. And when the decision to buy or sell is made in a hurry, the case for many in this region over the past few years, the likelihood goes up that second-guessing will set in when the ink dries.
The reasons for remorse are varied, although most have to do with money. Sometimes, the feeling is justified -- more money could have been made or less money paid -- and lessons can be learned. Other times, it's just a matter of getting used to new life circumstances.
The good news: Remorse is usually a short-lived emotion.
"It's post-decision regret," said Miriam Tatzel, a professor of human development at Empire State College in New York and an expert on consumer psychology. "After you make a decision, all of the positive things of the choice you rejected loom large, while all the negative things of the choice you made loom large."
Tatzel said that with real estate, because of the lifestyle consequences and the hefty price tag, "the whole post-decision regret phenomenon comes in even more strongly."
Remorseful sellers may feel they have sold too cheaply. They may also regret having sold at all because of later appreciation, or because they miss their old home and neighborhood.
Remorseful buyers may think they have bought too dearly. They also worry about the financial burden they have assumed; they can regret the lifestyle choices the purchase represents.
"There's nobody who was ever completely satisfied with what they sold or what they bought," said John Tuccillo, a real estate industry consultant and author. "Remorse happens all the time."
Tatzel said, however, that humans tend to quickly try to resolve post-decision regrets.
