A hideously unfunny spy spoof with pretensions to social satire in its treatment of a lesbian relationship, "D.E.B.S." can at least be said to have its heart in the right place. Unfortunately, its head is so far up its own you-know-what, it can't see straight.
Based on her 2003 short of the same name parodying "Charlie's Angels"-type films and television shows, writer-director Angela Robinson's feature debut is well intentioned but dumb. Flatly written, stiffly acted and directed with less sense of pacing and visual composition than a real estate agent training video, the movie centers on the efforts of an elite squad of bodacious, college-age super-agents known as D.E.B.S. (Sara Foster, Meagan Goode, Jill Ritchie and Devon Aoki) to bring a dangerous criminal mastermind named Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster) to justice. As luck and Central Casting would have it, Lucy also happens to be a hottie with tight abs, and when she and top-performing D.E.B.S. agent Amy (Foster) wind up in a standoff with guns pointed at each other's pretty little head, love, or something like it, blossoms. Soon Lucy and Amy are sneaking off for open-mouthed kisses and clandestine bra-snapping sessions when they should be trying to kill each other.
This, in any other film, would lead to complications or, at minimum, high jinks. Here, it only prolongs the tedium of a film that seemed stagnant at the 10-minute mark. The best thing I can say about it? In a way, it reminds me of two-thirds of "The Wizard of Oz." Heart and courage it's got, but unfortunately, no brains.
D.E.B.S. (PG-13, 91 minutes) --Contains obscenity, cartoonish violence and sexual themes. At Cineplex Odeon Shirlington and Cineplex Odeon Dupont Circle.