The Reliable Source

After a 25-year career as a distinguished editor, feature writer, investigative reporter and war correspondent, Rich Leiby has never, ever won the Pulitzer Prize. Now he's found his life's calling as a gossip columnist. He'll take your tips, chew the fat, discuss the dish and babble in cliche-ridden prose right here once a week.

This Week's Columns:

NAMES & FACES (Post, June 4)

Brushing Up on His Undercover Techniques? (Reliable Source, June 3)

The President's Trophy Room (Reliable Source, June 2)

The Ex-Spouse Who Roared: Sheila Johnson's Revelations (Reliable Source, May 30)

A transcript follows.

Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Richard Leiby:
Mrs. Reliable Source just alerted me to a developing story from England, combining two of my favorite topics: Terrorism and The Clash. Turns out a guy in a Clash tribute band (named "London Calling") was suspected of aiding terrorism because of a cell-phone text message he sent:

"OK - SO LET'S AGREE ABOUT THE PRICE AND MAKE IT ONE JET AIRLINER FOR TEN PRISONERS"

Here are details from the London Calling Web site:

START TEXT:

Well it all started like this.
At 16:00 on 24th May 2004 a man claiming to be from my company's security department introduced me to a man from Special Branch called Martin. He told me that Martin wanted to speak to me in private. I had no idea why they could want to talk to me and so initially I thought it was just some sort of misunderstanding.

We found a meeting room and Special Branch officer asked me if I knew what Special Branch do. I didn't but I said that I did. He then went on to ask me about my mobile phone a company paid account.
"Does anybody else have access to this phone?" he asked.
"No" I replied.
"Well did you know that on ..." he looks for something in his file but struggles to locate it until eventually "... the 30th April 2004 a text message was sent from your phone," he reads the message very slowly in a kind of copper giving evidence kind of way, it reads "How about this for Tommy Gun? OK - SO LET'S AGREE ABOUT THE PRICE AND MAKE IT ONE JET AIRLINER FOR TEN PRISONERS" Can you explain what that means?
"Sure, that's Tommy Gun" I reply. Theres a pause, then I add "by The Clash"
"Eh?" he looks puzzled.
I go on to explain. "I am in a Clash tribute band called London Calling. Those are the lyrics Joe sings at the end of the song. They are not listed on the published music and since Joe mumbles them on the record we were having trouble working them but I found them on the Internet. I was just texting Reg our singer to see if he thought that they sounded right."
"Oh a Clash tribute band." He sighed and seemed relieved and perhaps just a little embarrassed - rightly so. Everyone should know Tommy Gun!!
"Well in the present climate he says we are on a higher state of alert" he tells me
"reassuring" he adds
"Well I guess so."
I'll say anything to get out of that room now. It's quite worrying that all the messages we send are being scanned and even more worrying that some people just don't know all the Clash's hits.

END TEXT.

Wow. All I can add is: Special Branch is a pretty cool band name, too.

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washingtonpost.com: London Calling Bass Player Suspected of Terrorist Threat

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Harrisburg, Pa.: The Homeland Security office states we should be on the lookout for people wearing several layers of clothing in warm weather who smell funny. I don't know about D.C., but you've seen Harrisburg: there is at least one person per downtown block who fits that description. Should I make a telephone for each individual, or can one phone call for all these people take care of my civic duty?

Richard Leiby: Yes, you should alert Tom Ridge personally! Call 202-282-8010 -- that's the number for Homeland Security's public affairs office. And you must act especially quickly if any of those rank-smelling potential human bombs are text-messaging Clash lyrics to each other.

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Arlington, Va.: Weingarten's chat page has been missing for a couple of weeks because he's on a "secret assignment." Maybe I'm projecting, but whenever one of my relatives goes on a "secret project" for a couple of weeks, it means that he's in rehab.

So when does Gene get back, and will he still be funny once he's dry?

Richard Leiby: I saw Gene in the office yesterday. It was about noon, and he was doddering about, clearly smashed or high on something. He usually starts drinking around 9 a.m. Since he only has to write one column for the magazine per week (plus the occasional "top-secret assignment" cover story) he can basically hit the sauce four days a week and still meet the quota. I've suggested an intervention, but nobody pays much attention to Weingarten except a few on-line chatters, so I guess they'll just let him slide slowly into well-deserved oblivion.

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Potomac, Md.: You guys over there in the Style section must be salivating over the prospect of you-know-who coming back as mayor ...

Richard Leiby: If the Mayor-for-Life, Mr. Barry, returns, what's not to like? He always provides lively copy. There's an old saying in journalism: "Vote Your Quote." You vote to elect the candidate most likely to provide an endless stream of entertaining stories.

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Arlington, Va.: Could you please get to the bottom of the closure this weekend of ubersalon Sylvain Melloul which has operated in Georgetown for 30 years? This seems to be a sad story for all but there is definitely a mystery there. Hillary Clinton once sat in Melloul's chair, back when she was trying to save a buck. Thanks.

Richard Leiby: Thanks for that info. We'll have to check into this. Quidnunc loves a good mysterious hair salon story. I've never sat in Melloul's chair, and now wish I had. On the other hand, last time I saw Hillary, her hair really looked great! So she must have found a good replacement stylist.

Next time I get my ears lowered, I'll ask my own stylist, who used to work in Georgetown.

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Georgetown, D.C.: So I got my new copy of Wine Spectator, and noticed a review of the Kluge New World Red. Not only did it score a paltry 79, the lowest score of U.S. wines outside of California, Oregon and Washington -- but it also was rated below wines from such noted regions at Utah and Georgia. And all of the wines rated were priced much lower than hers.

Given the amount of fawning ink Kluge got in the Reliable Source, I am surprised this was ever mentioned. Or is it that your palate is un-reliable?

Richard Leiby: When I wrote about Ms. Kluge's wine, my goal wasn't to "review" it. My goal was to meet her and talk a bit about her youthful escapades as an exotic belly dancer and sex scribe for "Knave" magazine in England. If my ink was fawning, that's why! (Band name alert: Fawning Ink.)

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Washington, D.C.: Re: London Calling

Good thing they weren't text messaging about "Spanish Bombs", eh?

Richard Leiby: Yep. I'm flying in on a DC-10 tonight ...

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Tenleytown, Washington, D.C.: Quid Nuncle:

Send those wankers in that Clash Tribute Band to Guantanomo Bay immediately. After two years or so, we should find out what the lyrics really mean.

Richard Leiby: Speaking of Joe Strummer's end-of-song mutterings, here's my favorite:

"Weddings, parties, anything ... And bongo jams a speciality!"

Sorry, I just had to share. Now back to the real news.

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Ballston, Va.: I got a kick out of "Names and Faces" today (good work, Anne) because of the Mark Anthony blurb ... he once gave a friend of a friend a long speech about how she should be faithful to her husband, she shouldn't be out carousing, the sanctity of marriage, etc., because he saw her sucking face with Jason Biggs in a club in South Beach. Too bad he didn't practice what he preached, eh?

Richard Leiby: Thanks for getting us back on topic!

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Gaithersburg, Md.: Lots of talk recently regarding the Plame-outing investigation. But given the round of calls that the leaker made to various journalists and given that people talk (else no column, nicht wahr?), surely the identity of the official who outed Plame is a well known secret in some circles in this town. So ... you're the Reliable Source -- let's have it! Who did the deed? Let the leaker become the leaked upon! (Hmmm, not sure that came out right.)

Richard Leiby: Meine Damen und Herren:

I WISH I could out the leaker, but I frankly have no idea who did the deed. AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. That would only get me dragooned in front of the federal Grand Jury. As mentioned in previous chats, my name is on the subpoena list in the leak investigation, but so far I haven't gotten subpoenaed. The prosecutor in the case clearly realizes that my only connection to this whole affair was meeting Joe and Valerie (Plame) Wilson at their home in early July 2003, before Bob "None Dare Call it Treason" Novak wrote his infamous column. I had no idea then that Valerie was a secret CIA operative.

I can confirm that I am the Reliable Source but I'm not an Omniscient Source.

I also can confirm that I am the Mighty Quidnunc, there is none higher, and ya'll may call me sire. Uh-HUH!

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Washington, D.C.: You wrote: "I'll ask my own stylist."

Come on! Clearly you cut your own hair.

Richard Leiby: You, dear reader, are a wanker and a cad. I hereby challenge you to a duel, with scissors.

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Over-dressed smelly people: Call we also call on all the smelly people who are underdressed? I think that they pose a threat to this country too, wandering around on the Mall and crowding the Metro at rush hour. Or should that be a call to Ashcroft and his morality squad?

Richard Leiby: I'd give the tourists a break. Sure they wear tank tops, fanny backs, shorts and sandals, and get all stinky-like, but that's just what happens when you walk around D.C. all day, drinking in the Kulcha.

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Ballston, Va.: Your paper is to be commended for its willingness to pander to people like me by publishing, in Style on Wednesday, several really sweet pictures of the Olsen twins. However, in the article (yes, I can read) your colleague opined that way back when on "Full House," the twins had a "vaguely simian" appearance.

Even as to a public figure, isn't it just a little bit of a low blow to write that she was an ugly baby? I suspect your paper may get another letter this Saturday asking "What of her mother and father?"

Richard Leiby: Again, we thank Ballston for putting us back on topic. We LOVE those lovely Olsen Twins. Perhaps we can link to that story, even.

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washingtonpost.com: Power of Two (Post, June 2)

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Music Girl: I'm back again this week. And no misspelling "pants" this time, I promise. Those London Calling guys are pretty cute, and even have the jump suits! I don't think I have anything of importance to say, just have to keep encouraging talk about the only band that matters.

P.S.: Have you heard the Von Bondies yet? Not Clash-esque per se, but pretty darn good and infectious rock and roll.

Richard Leiby: Thank you, Music Girl. You are ALWAYS welcome to suggest ways to broaden my musical tastes. I have not heard the Von Blondies yet. For some reason I've taken lately to listening to the Olds 97s, who, though now defunct, are pretty darn infectious.

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K St., NW , D.C.: Monday, June 7, is 1000 days since Sept. 11. Anyone think we should stay home from work that day?

Richard Leiby: Personally I'm staying away from downtown until 7 p.m., when I have to go see Ashley Judd at some movie premiere deal. I'll brave any numerological scare to see Ashley!

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Arlington, Va.: Some of the blog sites have a story about a former Secretary of Education and Drug Czar (whose identity I wish to protect) had actually paid for the services of a dominatrix. Is this the sort of reliable information that you will share with your readers?

Richard Leiby: I usually get in trouble whenever I speculate on which officials are into domination fetishes, because, frankly, there are SO many of them. But if you want to send a link to one of those blogs, please do so. Reliablesource@washpost.com

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Washington, D.C. Eagerly anticipating Fahrenheit 9/11. I agree with Bradbury that Moore inappropriately swiped the title, but was Moore's title selection intentional for more than just name recognition -- was it also selected because it echoed some of the themes of 451?

Richard Leiby: It was. In fact, here's what Mr. Moore tells Playboy in an upcoming interview:

On the title of Fahrenheit 9/11: "[It's] the temperature of hysteria that has allowed the Bush administration to get away with a series of unconscionable acts since 9/11. They used the 3,000 victims of the terrorist attack as a cover to enact their own right-wing agenda."

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Washington, D.C.: Rich, while you are clearly a man of the world, you are not apparently up on British slang. A wanker is a person who, uh, pleasures him -- or herself.

Richard Leiby: Au contraire, or however you spell it: I am well aware of wankers and wanking, thank you.

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1000 days: And 1000 days is significant because ?

Richard Leiby: Because there are a bunch of zeros if you turn 1000 upside down it looks like a stick with tires on it?

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Silver Spring, Md.: Old 97s no more?? Not so, less than reliable one. They have a new album out and I have some friends in Dallas going to go see them in a few weeks.

Richard Leiby: I apologize. Last I knew, the band's leader was putting out solo stuff and touring solo. Brett somebody? I'm losing it here, people. Rhett?

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Crofton, Md.: It's about this time of year when I start pining for a good celebrity sighting or two around D.C. Can you convince Michael Moore to premiere "Fahrenheit 9/11" at a cinema somewhere close to the White House?

Richard Leiby: We just dined this week with a very important film person who is "close" to the Weinstein Brothers and Mr. Moore. We'll do what we can. Meanwhile, I'm going to post some of the release about the film's opening date. See if you can decode it.

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Richard Leiby:
BOB AND HARVEY WEINSTEIN'S FELLOWSHIP ADVENTURE GROUP TO FORM COALITION TO HANDLE RELEASE OF
MICHAEL MOORE'S PALME D'OR WINNING FILM


NEW YORK, June 1, 2004 - Harvey and Bob Weinstein through the Fellowship Adventure Group, the newly created special-purpose company, have made arrangements for Michael Moore's Palme D'Or winning FAHRENHEIT 9/11 to be released. Under this arrangement the Fellowship Adventure Group will join with Lions Gate Films and IFC Films to distribute the film in theaters in the United States. Pay TV rights will be handled by Showtime, Lions Gate's Pay TV partner. The film will reach theaters nationwide on June 25th.

The Weinsteins through the Fellowship Adventure Group will personally finance and control distribution and marketing. They have appointed creative advertising and marketing consultant Matthew Cohen as marketing director for this company to create and oversee all marketing materials. Ken Sunshine Consultants has been hired to handle PR for the company and will work closely with the Weinsteins and the coalition on the film's release.

"With Frodo (Harvey) and Sam (Bob) now in charge of the Fellowship, I welcome the addition of Lions Gate and IFC to our quest in bringing good family entertainment to the viewing public," says Michael Moore. "Jon Feltheimer (now head of Lions Gate) produced my series ?TV Nation' and IFC produced my series ?The Awful Truth.' Not only am I in good hands, I am grateful to them now that everyone who wants to see it will now have the chance to do so -- thanks to the record number of screens on which they plan to open it. On behalf of my stellar cast - GW, Dick, Rummy, Condi and Wolfie - we thank this incredible coalition of the willing for bringing ?Fahrenheit 9/11' to the people."

"This is a true coalition," said Harvey and Bob Weinstein. "The passion that Lions Gate, IFC Films and Showtime have demonstrated reflects our desire to enable Michael Moore's extraordinary work to be viewed by as many filmgoers as possible as soon as possible."

The Weinsteins have initiated an alliance with several key industry players. It is anticipated that other names will shortly be added to the coalition as partnerships on other distribution avenues are announced.

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Washington, D.C.: Ray Bradbury, always a cantankerous old goat, needs to pipe down. Titles (e.g., Fahrenheit 451) are not copyrighted. So regardless of where Moore got his idea, Bradbury can't do much about it. I like to think Moore was doing a play on words with Fahrenheit 451 because it is a chilling story about a totalitarian society in which dissension is crushed thru' book burning.

Richard Leiby: Any famous writer who lives past 80, as Ray Bradbury has, has every right to be a cantankerous old goat -- and to smell funny, also.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Rhett Miller -- and he is doing some solo stuff in addition to the band stuff.

Richard Leiby: Thank you, Silver Spring! Or as well call it, South Wheaton.

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Uplifting quote of the week on which to end your week: "Ten years after the double murder for which he was acquitted but left a virtual pariah, O.J. Simpson says in a television interview that he is angry at his slain ex-wife and hopes to star in a new TV reality show."

(from today's "Post")

Richard Leiby: Look for a solid weekend of "exclusive" O.J. stories on cable and broadcast television. Far more uplifting than D-Day anniversary coverage, nicht wahr?

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1000 days: A stick with tires on it! Why isn't the Post all over this story? Where is Tom Ridge? What was that phone number again?

Richard Leiby: 202-282-8010. Homeland Security operators are standing by. (hey, are going to hate me for this ...)

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washingtonpost.com: Fox, NBC to Air O.J. Simpson Interviews (Reuters, June 4)

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K St., NW, D.C.: How about any closeted Republicans .... wanna offer any gossip "blind items"?

Richard Leiby: No, I dare not wanker, I mean, wander, into such territory. You've got to go to the Wankette, I mean Wonkette, for such dish.

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Washington, D.C.: You're very feisty today! New anti-depressant?

Richard Leiby: I'm flying to Florida tonight and I guess that makes me a bit feisty. I feel subtropical already! I'm giving a lecture on ethics and journalism at a National Writers Workshop, or something.

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Confusedland, USA: Speaking of agendas and scripting, what is the agenda of Scientology and the women legislators of the NFWL on the Hill online ad?

The Hill

lermanet.com

Richard Leiby: I think these links will be helpful to anyone who believes in Operating Thetans, or used to. Please visit them. But don't blame me for what happens thereafter.

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washingtonpost.com: Rich -- ixnay on the onephay umbersnaay.

-- The Pantsless Management

Richard Leiby: I no longer speak Pig Latin. What is the management talking about? Am I fired?

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Washington, D.C.: Anything new on Jessica Cutler?

Richard Leiby: Wish I had something for you, but she no longer returns my calls. Last I heard she was lunching with Playboy mag people, but now Playboy has clammed up too.

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Washington, D.C.: Your band name gimmick today is a blatant Dave Barry ripoff.
For shame.
By the way, it's really sad that Weingarten is funnier than Barry now. The passing of a legend.

Richard Leiby: True, I sort of know Dave Barry, and I am no Dave Barry. But the band-name thing isn't copyrighted, so ankerway-off.

The Passing of a Legend: Spinoff band of The Men They Couldn't Hang?

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Old '97's: I used to date a guy in a band that opened for the Old '97's at the 9:30 club a few years ago. The lead singer spent the whole show talking about the hot coat check girl. After the show, we were all down in the bar and my boyfriend bought a round of shots and tried to talk to the lead singer. The guy was very rude, completely blew him off, and gave his shot to, you guessed it, the coat check girl.

Richard Leiby: Further reason for me to regret that I put down the guitar at age 13 and picked up the pen. As a famed gossip columnist, I rarely get to hit on hot coat check girls!

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Rhett Miller: He's a cutie, that

Richard Leiby: Are YOU the hot coat check girl in question?

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Iowa : In Tom Clancy novels the CIA is always right and eminently successful. Maybe he could replace Mr. Tenet?

Richard Leiby: Excellent suggestion. Immediately after I saw the headline about Tenet's resignation yesterday, somebody sent an email saying, "What took so long?"

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San Francisco, Calif.: As someone who endured thousands of phone calls after Time and Newsweek published the phone number for DoD public affairs (in the form of courier slips used by a certain former intern), that is way uncool that you are pulling this stunt on DHS.

Richard Leiby: Nobody reads this chat except polite and restrained people who would NEVER pester hard-working government public affairs officers. Trust me.

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Whoopeee!;: Hey, it's Liz!;

Richard Leiby: See, very restrained people!

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Eastern Shore, Md. : You've got cicadas, we've got film crews. Given the choice between movie production people and cicadas, I'll take the bugs. There was a special screening of The Notebook last night at the Avalon Theater in Easton, arranged by the publicist of the Wedding Crashers ingenue, who evidently is in The Notebook. It was to start at nine p.m. and all the Talbot Co. A-listers (don't ask)were invited. The audience hung in until about ten, waiting patiently for La Starlet to show up and intro her film. By ten, people were literally yelling that they had to work the next day. A production crew member, slightly less insect-ish than his pals, told some of us that La Starlet was asleep and her publicist didn't want to disturb her. Frankly, Starlet, we don't give a damn.

Richard Leiby: Thank you, Eastern Shore. Would you rather have cicadas? We can round up a gift basket of them for all the film stars now staying in Easton, Md.

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Washington Bullets: Can I use Quidnunc as my band name?

Richard Leiby: With my blessing. But I want an invite to your first gig at The Black Cat, if you make it that far.

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Olsen Twins: You know, why can't people say certain babies are ugly, not cute? I mean who made up that rule? How ridiculous.

Richard Leiby: This is a question for the ages. Dickens once wrote that every child born is fairer than the last. But don't blame Dickens. Everyone sees their own kids as beautiful, because they are THEIRS. But I agree: Some babies are goofy-looking.

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Washington, D.C.: Well, the person who corrected your use of 'wanker' is clearly not up on their Brit slang -- it's also a general insult.

The all-time best use of that word was in a Victoria Wood song. Classic -- check it out!

Richard Leiby: We're rushing to Google right now. Thanks for all the handy moral support and see you next week!

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