Jaedene: Two weeks before the surgery, I spent two days cleaning out closets. Now, everywhere I walk in the house, if there are a few papers, I look through them and throw things out. I'm accomplishing something. There is something going on here: cleaning up, cleaning off, a clean slate, a clean face . . . a facelift!
Jill and I have not healed at the same rate. I feel as though I have gone on without her to a certain extent. I didn't sign up to do that, and I feel guilty about it.
Therapists Jaedene Levy, left, and Jill Scharff, usually devoted to development of the inner life, reflect on the motivations and consequences of facelifts.
(Katherine Frey -- The Washington Post)
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_____Live Discussion_____
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Live, NOW: Jill Scharff, M.D. and Jaedene Levy, MBA, MSW, will be online to discuss the consequences of facelifts.
_____Aging Well_____
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Fit for the Ages (The Washington Post, Jan 11, 2005)
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A Prevent Defense (The Washington Post, Jan 11, 2005)
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Home at Sea (The Washington Post, Jan 11, 2005)
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Jill has referred to it as "Facelift Survivor's Guilt." But I don't think that truly fits, because she will catch up. So, I have decided to name it "Quicker-Healing Guilt" -- and blame it on the doctors.
Month 4
Jill: My stepdaughter sees me for the first time; she's impressed. "You look so young," she says.
This is not what I had bargained for. Rested and refreshed is what Jaedene and I were aiming for. In the elevator at the doctor's office, a man I'd call young struck up a conversation with me. Jaedene says she has become visible, too.
Do they see us because of how we look? Or have we been making ourselves invisible because of how we felt we looked? Whatever the reason, being seen as younger is quite something to get used to. •
"The Facelift Diaries" is published by BookSurge. It is available via Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com, and at Politics and Prose Bookstore in the District.
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