It's a Guy Think

YOU SAY "I was listening, really, but I couldn't concentrate on what you were saying because that red blouse really makes your . . . what were you saying again?"

THEY SAY You aging animal! Proof that a youthful interest in sex needn't be wasted on the young.

"There are many men in middle age who are just as enthused about sex as when they were young," said John Morley, director of geriatric medicine at Saint Louis University School of Medicine. Hoo ha!

On the other hand, as we advance into middle age our testosterone level falls off and some men lose interest in sex, Morley says. Cardiovascular disease contributes to impotence. Stress can crush the male libido.

No wonder we drive women crazy: The brain wants the motor to run, while the body is saying slow down, dude.

Volumes have been written about the health benefits of lasting, cohabitative relationships, and numerous studies show married men are less likely to die of heart disease than single swingers. And now for the best news? Partaking liberally in the pleasures of marriage appears to have benefits: English researchers found that guys with "high orgasmic frequency" -- those who were having sex twice a week or more -- had one-third the heart disease risk of those having little or none.

You know what to do, guys. Now go out there and do it.

YOU SAY "I am NOT depressed. Okay, there's a lot of pressure in my life, but I'm fine. I just don't feel like smiling. Just leave me alone to work on my boat motor and have a few beers."

THEY SAY "Classic male behavior, and not healthy," said Joseph Flaherty, head of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Illinois Medical Center. "Men isolate themselves, they don't admit they're feeling bad. They tend to use alcohol, gambling and nicotine as coping methods. Women tend to turn to social networks. Men avoid them."

Of the 11 million Americans diagnosed as depressed, only one in 10 is a man, according to a study by the Cleveland Clinic Department of Psychiatry and Psychology. But that's not because men aren't depressed, experts say. It's possibly because they more often turn to drugs, alcohol and dangerous behavior rather than seeking therapy, according to a National Institute of Mental Health report. The same report suggests that the current definition of depression may not even be adequate to capture men's experiences with the illness.

"It's a hard step for men to address that they have needs," said Flaherty, who calls the syndrome "real men get the blues." "Men are afraid a doctor is going to tell them something that alters their lifestyle, and tell them something they don't want to know." This may explain why the suicide rate in men is four times higher than in women.