The couple talked to their invited guests.
"We know that the friends we care about will not be upset or angry if the wedding is very low-key," David said. "It's more that we just want to make it something memorable since it will be one of the few times our far-flung friends will be together."
Then David said what I suspected was really behind his angst about spending so much for the reception. "We're just like everyone else in that we have an idea of a 'perfect wedding.' "
My advice to David: Don't spend what you can't afford. How about inviting just a few people?
I know that's easy for me to say. After all, it's your big day, a day you will remember always, the most important day of your life, and a day in which you want to be the center of attention, etc., etc.
But let's get financially real here.
If your budget is tight, shorten your list. Consider videotaping your nuptials. After your honeymoon, you can have a house party and invite friends and family over to watch it.
And for the few who have to travel far to your wedding, don't worry that they have spent money to come. That's their choice, and such a decision does not require a quid pro quo that might put you over budget.
I know many couples want as many family and friends as possible to witness their holy union. But your big day can still be memorable without a large audience. Remember, this day is supposed to be about the union of just two.
Michelle Singletary discusses personal finance Tuesdays on NPR's "Day to Day" program and online at www.npr.org. Readers can write to her at The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071 or send e-mail to singletarym@washpost.com. Comments and questions are welcome, but due to the volume of mail, personal responses may not be possible. Please also note that comments or questions may be used in a future column, with the writer's name, unless a specific request to do otherwise is indicated.
