The Nationals' new mascot -- an overweight "eagle" named Screech -- hatched at Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium over the weekend. We wondered what poor creature laid this egg and what message it sends to fans and opposing teams. Some theories:
A Peep -- Other teams are going to eat us for lunch.
(Toni L. Sandys -- The Washington Post)
Big Bird -- Some teams get the Green Monster. We get a friend of Cookie Monster.
Samuel "Screech" Powers of "Saved by the Bell" -- Our games should be broadcast on Nickleodeon.
A Chunky Chicken -- Other teams are going to eat us for lunch.
Perhaps Screech could nest at the National Zoo. That would guarantee a quick demise and the chance to select a new mascot such as:
Filla Buster -- Talks through the entire game.
Talking Point -- The Lovable Little Memo.
Pink Ticket Pete -- Stand still for three minutes, he gives you a $30 parking ticket.
-- Style staff