If I were a closeted gay politician in New Jersey, I'd sleep with: "The only way to go would be Bruce Springsteen. That would be the only politically shrewd move. Springsteen is a God there. I am a Republican and Springsteen and I agree on few issues, but as far as I'm concerned the guy can do no wrong."
Typical quote: "Damage control is all about selecting the best of only bad options."
Gavin Newsom and Kimberly Guilfoyle, the "new Kennedys," according to Harper's Bazaar.
(Dewey Nicks, Harper's Bazaar - AP)
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Most notable characteristic: "Pathological impatience in a lot of interpersonal settings. I relate to Ben Stiller's character, Mr. Furious, in 'Mystery Men' -- the idea of extreme frustration as a super-talent."
Celebrity I most resemble: "I've been told Bruce Willis. It's either my outrageous action-hero persona or my hairline."
First celebrity crush: "Bambi. Was that wrong? I should note that my wife has that fawnish-looking appearance."
Nobody knows I: "Founded a comedy nightclub called Eleazar's Dungeon, named after the founder of Dartmouth College, and did stand-up while in school. Other acts included unknowns Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Carrey. But where are they now?"
Adult entertainment name (childhood pet plus street name): Tiger Saratoga.
Nominate a Usual Suspect by e-mailing ReliableSource@washpost.com.
SQUIBS
• After stops in Afghanistan, Azerbaijan and Ukraine, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld took a breather at the ballet Saturday night in St. Petersburg, Russia, with wife Joyce. From a royal box at the Mariinsky Theater, they caught a performance of "Spartacus," described in the English-language St. Petersburg Times as a "Soviet-era testosterone-laden classic." Rummy stayed through the entire three hours, we're told. There's just no respite for a warrior.
• Imprisoned rapper Jamal "Shyne" Barrow, whose latest disc, "Godfather Buried Alive," features verses he literally phoned in from behind bars, lost his phone privileges yesterday. Under New York state law, prisoners can't call cell phones, have calls transferred to another party, conduct business by phone or call reporters who are not on their designated media list. Shyne, who is serving time for assault and weapons possession, made about 100 phone calls to reporters and his record label, prison officials said.
With Anne Schroeder
