Spouses On the Job, Working Things Out

For the Tangs, who have been married for 30 years, this was easy. As an architect, Jye handles all the restaurants' design issues as well as certain mechanical problems -- such as a broken refrigerator. Elaine, a computer whiz with a mind for math, handles the finances and computers as well as quality control.

"But when he sees me overloaded, he comes and helps me more," Elaine says of her husband.

Susan Robison adds that couples must "make sure to be collaborative, not competitive."

"I'm very clever about competition," says Judith Doctor, who for three decades has shared a Connecticut ophthalmology practice with her husband. "There isn't any because I knew early on to stay away from cataracts, Dr. Daniel's specialty." At home, too, they divided up the chores when taking care of their four children, now grown, clearly defining their roles and creating little room for competition. "He did homework. I did behavior."

David and Lois Eisner, both 53, are a good example of "traditional copreneurs," according to Marshack, who says that in 90 percent of copreneurial businesses, the man is running the show.

He's the doctor and she's the office administrator at her husband's Rockville dental practice. For 20 years Novocained patients have gotten a front-row seat at the Eisners' office romance. It's not uncommon for David, poking around in a patient's mouth, to call questions over his shoulder about dinner plans or make a comment about a dress he thinks his wife should buy. The business partnership works, he says, because his wife gets it. "Lois knows about the stresses in the office because she's with me. Other wives empathize; Lois actually understands."

Adds Lois, "It works because of all the small, stupid things we do for each other."

Though copreneurship may be all roses for some, Robison says it's imperative that all copreneurs have a succession plan: "Draw up papers before you start in case one partner decides to step out of the business. Have a plan upfront."

That might have been a great idea for Altman and Orbach. They don't have a formal succession plan for the business they created in 1999, when they had only one child. Even though their company has seen a 300 percent growth in business in the last year alone, Altman says she wants out. "Scott is really happy in the business. I would really be happier to be home with my kids."

For the Tangs, who have grown children, the juggling act isn't so hard. But there's still the issue of fighting and that heavy dose of post-fight silent treatment. Says Jye Tang, "She uses her charm to settle our fights. She always talks first and settles the argument. I am a man and I can't do that."