Need help dealing with kids over winter vacation? Are the holidays making them act out, lash out or misbehave? Do your high schoolers have long-term assignments to work on while the rest of the family is frolicking around the tree? Are your college freshmen decompressing all over the house?
Joining host Evelyn Vuko, for an informal chat about any issues facing your family when the kids are home for what seems like a very, very long time.
Evelyn Vuko
(washingtonpost.com)
|
|
She will be online Tuesday, Dec. 21, at 2 p.m. ET to answer your questions.
Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.
_____________
Evelyn Vuko: Welcome, happy holidays and thanks for joining me today! Short of moving out of state and leaving the kids with the tree and the relatives, there are lots of things you can do to make long vacations with kids less stressful and more productive, so let's talk about them. Sorry, I have no suggestions about what to do with Uncle Sal and his fondness for practical jokes...let's get started.
_______________________
Columbia, Md.:
Dear Teachersays,
My seventh grade daughter has difficulty with her writing assignments because she struggles with stating a hypothesis and then building her case. Her whole style is emotive. She is all over the place when she tells a story. Any ideas about how to help her develop linear thinking skills?
Dad
Evelyn Vuko: Hello, Columbia. My high school students often can't make the connection between an hypothesis and the final paper they write, so I'm not surprised your middle schooler is finding it difficult to get linear when she writes. I tell my students that writing a thesis statement is much like writing a mini-story at the beginning of their work. Ask her the following questions, after she picks a topic and narrows it down (you might have to help her with this part, too). What opinions does she have about this topic? What does she think the major problems are? Ask her to be specific. How does she think they can be solved, again asking her to be specific. Hints: good thesis statements often contain words like: because, since, so, although, unless or however. Have her write her thesis down and use it to guide her writing. Make sure that each paragraph relates back to her thesis. A great reference book, with lots of excellent writing examples is: How to Write Term Papers and Reports by L.Sue Baugh (Future Vision Multimedia)
Happy holidays!
_______________________
Fairfax, Va.:
My 2nd grader is in a high-achieving school. She regularly brings home what I consider to be a huge amount of homework. For example: last night she brought home roughly 40 math problems, a worksheet on adverbs and she had to write a story about gravity. All due on Wednesday morning. In addition, she is expected to read 20 minutes a night.
First question...are there guidelines for how much homework a 2nd grader should have? Second, I've talked with her teacher about the homework, but haven't had any impact. In fact, she gets very snide about it. Is it appropriate to go to the principal with this? I'm new to the area and the expectations seem much higher here than where I'm from. I don't want to step on any toes, but at the same time, I don't want my child to hate school in 2nd grade! We've got 10 more years of this at a minimum!
Evelyn Vuko: Cheers, Fairfax. I have about 923 opinions about what you should do, but I'll try to narrow my topic...first, there are no homework time standards, but according to the US Department of Education, most teachers agree that 20 minutes a night is age-appropriate for first through third grade students. I think before you bring the principal into the situation, you should meet with the teacher again, and bring your daughter along. Examine together a typical assignment (especially one that spans two nights like the one you detail here) and have the teacher tell both of you how long each assignment should take. Knowing your daughter's skills and work habits, she should be able to give you an accurate gauge. Ask for suggestions about how you and your daughter can work together to make her progress smoother and more productive, she might suggest using a timer or different paper. Agree to put the teacher's ideas to work and set a follow-up conference to discuss how effective they were. Give this homework situation a chance to be resolved by teamwork before you bring in the principal. And try to ignore her snide comments, they could be her attempt at humor...
_______________________
Virginia:
Evelyn,
What do you think about parents giving kids short assignments or tutorials during the winter break? Do you think that is overwhelming them in addition from schoolwork? I'm just wondering how much of a break they need and what to do when they are bored.
Evelyn Vuko: Hello, Virginia. I have no problem with parents giving kids short assignments or tutorials over the holidays, in fact, as some vacations are two weeks long, I think it's wise to engage in some kind of educational interaction with and for your child. Primary graders, especially, need to be reading consistently as their skills are forming. Tender skills are like muscles, they get flabby even after three days! I also like this vacaction time for high schoolers to study for the SAT. There are some excellent websites, like the College Board's where kids can take mini-tests to gauge their skill. 15-20 minutes a day of this kind of practice won't hurt a teenager, though they will do all they can to make you think it will. Soldier on, I say, and have an educational holiday!
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
Evelyn,
Any ideas on how to keep kids entertained while adults are getting together during the holidays? I'd rather not have them watching DVDs all day.
Thanks
Evelyn Vuko: Assign one of the adults to entertain the kids and let them decide what they'd like to do together. Ask a funny relative to tell jokes with the kids while you're making dinner, another theatrical one to come up with a short play to entertain the family or read everyone a story and have them act it out. Rotate adults so they don't get burned out! They might drag out a tape recorder and have all the kids talk about what the holidays mean to them or about their favorite Uncle or what foods or toys they like the best. Play it over dessert to entertain the rest of the family and save it to play again when the youngest one turns 21. Happy holidays.
_______________________
Cold Cold Carteret:
What do you do with kids on those realy cold days like yesterday? Too cold for outdoor skating, too cold for any activities outdoors.
I'm thinking a sunny museum or someplace with lots of windows. The public library is a nice spot too!;
Sal
Evelyn Vuko: If you don't want to go out at all, I love cooking with kids. It's a creative art that involves math and science and thinking skills and the end product is edible (one hopes.) Instead of making cookies, have make some interesting stuffings and have the kids roll out some dough and make ravioli! Buon appetito e buon natale!
_______________________
Baltimore, Md.:
Ms. Vuko --
I realize this is a little off-topic for today, but we have a mini-crisis, and I could really use some advice from someone with knowledge and training. How do you know when you have picked the wrong preschool? We moved earlier this year, and found a highly recommended preschool. Our daughter seemed to adjust well for the first three months, but since her class moved up to a different teacher this fall, things have gone downhill -- tantrums, hitting, etc., both at school and at home.
My gut says that this teacher just doesn't "get" her, but there aren't specific incidents or facts I can point to. I don't want to overreact, because she's going to have to learn to deal with teachers who she doesn't necessarily see eye to eye with. And frankly, she is not an "easy" child -- she is highly energetic, intelligent, and independent, and she will challenge you on the slightest inconsistency.
But at the same time, her other teachers have always found ways to direct her energy in productive ways (most of the time, that is). And constantly getting in trouble for her behavior seems to have quenched her optimism and enjoyment of school -- she has started to label herself as a bad kid and doesn't seem to believe that she can do better tomorrow.
We've talked to the teacher and director, and they're trying some different disciplinary things, but I think the problems run deeper than that (too long to give examples here). There is no other classroom for her age, so the question is moving to another school. Is that overreacting? If we do look to another school, is there anything else we can do (other than visit, observe, talk to the teachers) to try to avoid another mistake? I'd very much appreciate any insight you might have. Thanks.
Evelyn Vuko: Hello, Baltimore. You are not off topic, since today is a free-for-all day. Though you have some legitimate concerns (like the teacher not seeming to know how to channel your daughter's energy), I think your fears about chosing the wrong preschool might be a little premature. As a former primary grade teacher, I always found the months prior to the winter holiday are a trial for the little ones, especially the bright and energetic ones like your daughter. There is so much sensory and intellectual stimulating flying in their faces at such a high speed that something is bound to crash sooner or later. So, first of all, be patient of the situation. Then, try a few things before you switch her to another school: offer to volunteer some time in the school or the classroom so you can get a better handle on how the teacher interacts with the other students as well as your daughter. I'm sure she's not the only high-energy one in the class! This is the only way that you are ever going to know for sure whether this teacher has the personality and stamina to deal effectively and happily with this type of child. Quite frankly, some don't, and if you see (give it about a month) that this is the case, then is the time to set a conference with the teacher and director and make some changes. And, right now, in addition to disciplinary things, ask the teacher and director, if they can come up with some additional jobs or responsibilities or projects that your daughter might do to cultivate her gifts. Feel free to make suggestions, especially if you've been in her classroom helping out. Good luck and don't worry and email me if you want to discuss this further: evuko@teachersays.com
_______________________
Great Falls, Va:
My son is, once again, defocused as we approach the Holidays and winter vacation. His school work is suffering and he seems more forgetful than his usual teenage behavior. This seems to be an annual pattern. What do you suggest we do to help stay focused?
Evelyn Vuko: Cheers, Great Falls, thanks for joining me today. Teenagers are sensory sponges who not only have to absorb the monumental biological changes within their own bodies, they have trouble filtering out sensory input from the outside, too. As the holidays approach, try to carve out some quiet time together. Get away from the madding crowd, take a walk with him through the neighborhood, listen to music together, read him a story (kids are never too old for that), put your arm around him and take a trip down to the basement to make something together. Doing things one-to-one enables you to tailor and fine-tune the sensory input. It helps kids focus better and will more likely even encourage confidences, which will help you sort out together how to make this period smoother for the whole family. I wish you both a merry and peaceful holiday and new year.
_______________________
Washington, D.C.:
Dear Teachersays,
My kindergarten age boy is a leftie. He has started to hook his arm and hand in an awkward way when he writes. Any suggestions on how to help him change his grip so that his writing and drawing is more comfortable for him?
TT
Evelyn Vuko: Hello and cheers, DC. Being a lefty myself, I have a lot to say about this topic but no time left to say it all. A quick tip: make a large capital "T" with masking tape on his desk or table at home. Turn the top about 45 degrees to the right. Place a piece of paper along the spine of the "T" and have your son align his arm with the spine of the "T." Now ask him to write. It will take practice for this position to feel comfortable for him but it will help him to maintain a better writing position. Lefties hook their hands over because they are trying to accommodate to the left-leaning slant that right-handed people use. Happy holidays and good luck!
_______________________
Evelyn Vuko: Thanks for taking your precious time out of the holiday rush to join me today. Use this vacation time to carve out some moments with your kids to get to know each other better and to learn something together. You'll no doubt teach each other a thing or two. I wish you all a happy, healthy, safe holiday and new year. Join me again on January 4th, 2005, to beef up your spelling skills. Cheers!
_______________________
