Jasmine Ramirez, 16, has two messages for the elementary and middle school students she will meet this month at a peer mediation conference. The bad news: Fights and misunderstandings will be an inevitable part of teenage life. The good news: Most problems can be solved by sitting down and talking.
"I'll tell them that now it might not seem like you are caught up in a lot of issues, but when it comes to high school, there will be issues here and rumors there," Ramirez said. Becoming a peer mediator, she said, is a good way to navigate those challenges.
Ramirez, a junior at Annandale High School in Fairfax County, is among the high school students who will help teach conflict resolution techniques to younger students from around the area during the conference March 15 and 16. About 2,000 students, teachers and counselors from Prince William, Fairfax, Arlington and Loudoun counties, the District and Alexandria are scheduled to attend the event at George Mason University's Fairfax campus.
In recent years, peer mediation has become a popular way of solving disputes that flare up in classrooms, school hallways or on playgrounds. Tiffs between young couples, best friends or groups of students often get resolved during hours-long, or even days-long, sessions with schoolmates who are trained to help.
During the conference, called Pathways to Peace, students will practice listening, a skill that some said sounds easier than it is, and learn to ask open-ended questions that help get to the core of a problem. During more complex training for high school students, they will learn how to help classmates resolve disputes that involve racial or cultural differences.
"This is all about being able to get along and negotiate and solve problems," said Donna Honeywell, assistant principal at Arlington Traditional School, which is sending about 40 students to the conference.
Jacqueline Pappas, a conflict resolution teacher at Annandale High School, said putting kids together to solve problems can help prevent petty differences from escalating into serious arguments or even violence.
In Fairfax County, each mediation session includes at least two student mediators; an adult sometimes is present. The sessions are voluntary -- although some students might avoid a suspension or other punishment by agreeing to mediation -- and all students must agree to keep the meetings confidential.
The young mediators don't act as advocates, never take sides and have no power to impose punishments or dictate solutions.
"We don't decide anything," Ramirez said. "It gives them a chance to do it on their own."
Ramirez and other Annandale High School student mediators said there are three primary rules once the sessions start. Participants are forbidden to interrupt each other, there can be no name calling or personal attacks, and all parties must agree to any solution.
Several student mediators said they have found that many fights stem from misunderstandings or false rumors. In many cases, it doesn't take long to work out a solution.
"I think sometimes the conflicts become over-dramatized," said senior Angelica Ramirez, 17, who started as a peer mediator in fourth grade. "This simplifies things."
Caleb Clarke Magruder, principal of Leesburg Elementary School, said students attending the conference will learn skills that will help them now and in the future.
"If the boys and girls are able to talk, they can work things out," he said. "These are life skills that are used in the workplace and used in the family."
