Academy Awards Coverage

The much-coveted Academy Award statuette. (Alan Diaz - AP)

If you can't be at the Academy Awards, be on washingtonpost.com. On Oscar night, post.com movies editor Jen Chaney will provide play-by-play of the gowns and gaffes that reveal themselves throughout the evening. Read along as you watch the ceremony for extra insight (and snarky commentary) about the year's biggest awards show. A transcript follows. Editor's Note: Washingtonpost.com moderators retain editorial control over Live Online discussions and choose the most relevant questions for guests and hosts; guests and hosts can decline to answer questions.

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Jen Chaney: Are you far away from a TV? Are you too lazy to find the remote but not too lazy to log on to the Web? Whatever your reason, I'm thrilled that you're joining me for washingtonpost.com's first-ever live Academy Awards commentary. I'm Jen Chaney and, to borrow a phrase from Starship circa 1985, I'm knee-deep in the Oscar hoopla.

From now until the ceremony ends sometime around next Friday, I'll update you on who's winning, who's poorly dressed and which of Billy Crystal's barbs is bombing. Please feel free to chime in with your thoughts, questions and sarcastic comments. The postings will really rev up once the ceremony starts, but I'll weigh in a couple of times during the pre-show just to make sure no one's fallen asleep yet. So what's been the weirdest moment so far? Seeing Joan Rivers interview Bobcat Goldthwait? Or watching Barbara Walters interview Shrek? Personally, I think it's a toss-up. Anyway, let's get this self-congratulatory party started.

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Jen Chaney: 7:49 p.m.: Diane Keaton is talking to Joan Rivers right now, and looking very, very Annie Hall. Meanwhile, Nicole Kidman looks pretty good but her strapless dress looks like it has the potential for a wardrobe malfunction. Stay tuned...

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Jen Chaney: 8:05 p.m.: The pre-show on ABC is underway and I've already lost count of the inane comments made and questions asked. Billy Bush just turned to Naomi Watts and asked "Watts up?" That's just Exhibit A, folks.

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Washington, D.C.: Good idea, this live chat about actors' performances tonight. Is there anybody out there?

Jen Chaney: Well, you're out there. And I'm here. So there's at least two of us. Got anything you want to share?

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Washington, D.C.: Jen, you are a true knee-deep in the Oscar hoopla.

Jen Chaney: Hey, thanks, D.C. I also built this city on rock and roll, but that's a topic for another time. By the way, did anyone else find that whole Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson exchange completely contrived? I'm sure that had nothing to do with the fact that "Starsky and Hutch" is coming to a theater near you on Friday.

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Largo, Fla. 8:13 p.m.: ABC needs to get that stupid "countdown" box out of the way. It gets in the way of seeing the gowns during the interviews.

Jen Chaney: I second that emotion, Largo. We all know how to tell time. At least most of us do.

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Cleveland Park, Washington, D.C.: Ha, ha. "Watts up." Ridiculous.

How are we supposed to watch the Oscars with a "Curb" marathon on HBO? Who schedules these things?

Jen Chaney: Clearly whoever schedules these things is most definitely not "cool-day-la." Of course, "Curb" will be re-aired many times this week so you can always catch it later. The Oscars is only once a year, you know. Unless you have TiVO.

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Gaithersburg, Md.: What's up with Nicole Kidman dissing Joan Rivers? Chilly....

Jen Chaney: I only caught part of that diss, but that was quite bizarre. Maybe she got sick of Joan asking her absurd questions.

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Charlottesville, Va.: Whose dress is the most outrageous tonight?

Jen Chaney: Some people may not be into the Diane Keaton look, but I kind of dig it. I also caught a quick glimpse of what I thought was Uma Thurman and all I can say is, "Wha-wha-what?" She usually looks great, but the dress I saw (or at least I thought I saw) looked tres bizarre.

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Hagerstown, Md: Jen, do you know where to watch a webcast? We are not connected to cable and have no antenna. Poor us.

Jen Chaney: Oh my goodness, no cable or antenna? My condolences. Don't know of a Webcast, so your best bet may be to stay here. I'll keep you up to date.

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Yay, thank you!;: I'm at work, and I -hate-missing the Oscars. So--are they still milling around? Are the awards not underway yet?

Jen Chaney: The awards have just started. It's 8:30 p.m. on the dot and Sean Connery is inviting us to "celebrate the magic of going to the movies." You must read the last part of that sentence with a Scottish accent in order to fully appreciate it. Here we go, people.

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Lecanto, Fla.: ABC is trying to top CBS's broadcast of the SuperBowl - totally gross!

Jen Chaney: Yes, this opening segment where Billy Crystal gets inserted into all the nominated films is sort of funny but also a little disturbing. That's a lot of almost-naked Crystal for me to deal with so early in the evening.

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New York City, N.Y.: Who won the Best Supporting Actress? We just finished watching "Whale Rider" and I heard the girl in the movie was nominated.

Jen Chaney: No worries, NYC. Billy Crystal's still doing the opening monologue, so no awards yet. Keisha Castle-Hughes is nominated, but in the lead acress category, which should be given out sometime between now and 2 a.m. Johnny Depp is looking very "21 Jump Street" tonight, isn't he? I mean that in a good way ... the lack of scruff makes him look younger. And Sean Penn's looking very clean-shaven, too. It's a battle of the lack of stubble among the lead actors!

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Portland, Ore.: This is asking kind of a lot, I realize, but I'll ask anyway -- if someone says anything particularly funny, could you give us some of the better lines? I hate that I'm going to miss Bill Murray presenting, and I'd love to hear his speech vicariously.

Billy Crystal, though--meh. Don't hurt yourself recapping him.

Jen Chaney: I'll do my best, Portland. That's what I'm here for. Bill Murray already made me laugh tonight; someone asked what he was wearing and he said, "Boxers." Love that man.
Right now Billy Crystal's serenading Sofia Coppola to the tune of "Maria" from "West Side Story." Next up: "Hobbits, hobbits, crazy hobbits ... stay cool, hobbits."

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Jen Chaney: 8:51 p.m. First award of the night: Tim Robbins just won for "Mystic River." He's on stage now and ... he made a speech with no political subtext. He said some words about how his character in "River" was abused and encouraged those who've been in similar situations to find the courage to speak out. But no anti-Bush tirade. I'm thinking no one wants to run the risk of being this year's Michael Moore.

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New York City, N.Y.: To your reader, Hagerstown, Md., without the cable and antenna -- You can check out oscars.com for a picture gallery (but no webcast). Sorry! I thought that might help some...

Jen Chaney: Thanks for the tip, NYC. Good suggestion. We'll also have picture up later tonight as well.

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Charlottesville, Va.: Oh lord, 2 a.m. - Why don't they have any respect for us over on the East Coast?

Jen Chaney: I was joking, Charlottesville. The always-lengthy Oscar telecast will be over before 2 a.m. I'm thinking it goes to 1:45 a.m., tops.

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Gaithersburg, Md.: Why does it seem like the crowd does not want "LOTR" to win? Is it perceived as not being an actor's movie?

Jen Chaney: I don't know that anyone doesn't want it to win. (Ian McKellen just introduced it as the first of this year's Best Pic nominees, by the way). Maybe people are just sick of hearing about it because it's been considered a lock to win for almost a year now.

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Vienna, Va.: God bless Tim Robbins. "Mystic River" was a stunner and he deserves this award. Here's hoping Sean Penn and Clint Eastwood get some Oscar love, too. Do you think audiences understood "Mystic River"? And what do you think of its chances tonight?

Jen Chaney: I'm happy to see Robbins win, too. He was quite good in "River." I don't think Eastwood has much of a chance this evening, but Penn could win. But the Best Actor category is one of the biggest mysteries tonight. I could just as easily see that going to Bill Murray or Johnny Depp, who won the SAG last week. Then again, there could be a huge upset and the winner could be ... Bobcat Goldthwait!

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Jen Chaney: Roughly 9 p.m.: For those keeping score at home, "Lord of the Rings" just won Best Art Direction. We're an hour in and only two awards have been given. It's going to be a late night.

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Bath, UK: This is going back a ways, but what did Nicole Kidman say to Joan Rivers on the red carpet?

Jen Chaney: I didn't hear what she said, all I saw was that she scooted along and didn't stop to talk to Joan for very long. Like, hardly at all. Not sure what that was about. Maybe she was simply in a hurry.

News flash: "Finding Nemo" just won Best Animated Feature. All you people who were pulling for a "Brother Bear" upset must be feeling pretty glum right now.

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Portland, Ore.: Tim Robbins has been pretty subdued two years in a row now, right? Weren't he and Susan Sarandan expected to go off last year, and I think they limited themselves to a peace sign. Maybe he's tired of being the guy everyone dreads giving an award or a microphone to.

Too bad Alec Baldwin didn't win -- but then, he was never going to. I'm still pulling for a Shohreh Aghdashloo upset.

Jen Chaney: Good memory, Portland. Susan definitely flashed the peace sign last year, which seemed like an appropriate way to voice her opinions. We'll see if the Shohreh upset happens. I picked Renee to win, but I'd be happy for an upset if only to liven things up a bit.

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Reston, Va.: Oh dear. I just took the other poster's advice and went to oscar.com. Does Scarlett Johannsen actually look as trashy as the photos suggest? Or as bulgy?

Jen Chaney: She actually didn't look as trashy or bulgy on TV as she does in those photos. I'm not crazy about that dress, though. Don't think it's particularly flattering.

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Reston, Va.: Oh my dear Lord, Marcia Gay Harden is--dressed as Marge Simpson? What is on her head?

Jen Chaney: Renee Zellweger (looking rather lovely in white) just announced that "Lord of the Rings" won for costumes. So that's two for the "King" so far.
As for Marcia Gay, yes, the hair is beyond a hair-helmet. It's like a hair totem pole. Her dress is a pretty blue, though, and fits nicely, especially given how pregnant she is.

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Portland, Ore.: Any Gwyneth-level dress catastrophes tonight?

Jen Chaney: The Uma one might be, but I'm reserving judgment until she presents later on. (At least, I think she's presenting...)
Billy Crystal just made a couple of funnies about famous people and their favorite films. Rush Limbaugh: "21 Grams." Hillary Clinton: "Kill Bill, Vol. One." You get the idea. Oh, now we're on to supporting actress...

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Jen Chaney: Renee Zellweger just won for Best Supporting Actress, and is taking a painfully long amount of time to get to the stage. I'm predicting tears in the speech.

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Jen Chaney: OK, Renee isn't crying but she is going on at great length, thanking everyone from her immigrant parents to Vincent D'Onofrio. Whew, she's finally done. Now back to your questions...

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Rockville, Md.: Is there a Web page that provides the order of the awards? I don't want to miss something good!

Jen Chaney: Unless I'm completely mistaken, I don't think the Academy reveals the order of awards beforehand. You can get a list of all the awards in our printable ballot. If it helps, now that the two supporting actor awards have been announced, it will be quite a while before they get to the other categories in the big six: director, lead actor and actress and picture.

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Washington, D.C.: Anyone else out there a little over Renee Z.? She always seems so affected. I'm sorry that there wasn't an upset in that category.

Jen Chaney: I think she's a fantastic actress. Her performances in "Chicago" and "Cold Mountain" were both pretty impressive, in my opinion. But during interviews (and during that speech), she does seem a bit affected. She also often looks like she's just taken a long slurp of a lemon, but that's a catty comment. And of course, I am above such things.

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Washington/Woodley Park, D.C.: Do you think Tim Robbins and Rene Zellweger deserved to win Best Supporting Actor/Actress? If not, who would you have picked?

Jen Chaney: I think both of them were deserving, yes. I didn't get a chance to see "House of Sand and Fog," but I understand Shohreh Aghdashloo was excellent, and I thought the other three supporting ladies were quite good, too. So it's not like any of them were undeserving, but I didn't think the winners were egregiously inappropriate.

Wow, was it me, or did Liv Tyler look a heck of a lot like Lisa Loeb in those glasses?

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Charlottesville, Va.: This Oscar.com webcast is really painful to watch. At least you are capturing the catty remarks that ARE Oscar night!

Jen Chaney: I think the only thing they're Webcasting is the stuff from the press room, right? They show all of that on E! after the awards end, just in case you want to relive that pain on your TV.

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Washington, D.C.: Why is it that they haven't figured out how to show the Oscars online yet?

Jen Chaney: Because they need their TV ratings. Pretty simple, really.
Anyone know what instrument Sting was just fondling/cranking? He was just on stage performing with Alison Kraus playing what looked like a mandolin, but not quite. By the way, Sting's music may have gotten way too wimpy over the past ... oh, decade, but good Lord, he's a good-looking man.

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College Station, Tex.: What is the name of the instrument that Sting was playing on the first nominated song?

Jen Chaney: Dude, I just asked you! Hopefully someone out there can help us out on this one.

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Mike, Fairfax, Va.: Did they just bleep something out from that fool presenter?

Jen Chaney: I don't think they bleeped him (at least I didn't catch that), but they did start playing music over him. I was typing so I missed part of that little incident.

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Reston, Va.: Jen ... I think that most of the film reviews in the Washington Post suck. What exactly is the criteria to be a film critic?

Jen Chaney: Ouch, Reston. I actually like a lot of our film reviews. I'm curious, though it's a little off-topic: Tell me what frustrates you about them.
I can't say what the editors at the paper use as their criteria, but I think having a breadth of knowledge about film is clearly important. And I think the ability to analyze and explain what's good and bad about movies in an engaging voice also matters a lot.
Wow, they are just rattling off these song nominees right and left, aren't they? Annie Lennox sounds and looks great: She's singing "Into the West" at the moment.

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Montreal, Quebec: Okay, is Liv Tyler hot in those coke-bottle glasses, or what?

Jen Chaney: She's pretty much attractive in anything, really. She pulled those off rather nicely. Lisa Loeb, you've got serious competition!

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New York City, N.Y.: Jen, are you done for the night?

Jen Chaney: No, no, still here. Sorry, guys. I'm doing a little thing I like to call multi-tasking, but I'm back, not to worry.
Blake Edwards just received his honorary Oscar from a very bald Jim Carrey. Oh, and there's some hope for this listless affair: the announcer just said Bill Murray will appear shortly.

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Blake Edwards: Brilliant speech. I don't know why they had to set it up with such an ill-conceived rigmarole.

Jen Chaney: I think that was supposed to be a take-off on "Pink Panther," wasn't it? It was a bit awkward.

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Dupont, Washington, D.C.: Jen, do you know who that crazy-haired old guy with Renee Zellweger is? As far as I can tell, it's her "beloved," but isn't she with Jack White? Help me.

Jen Chaney: I believe that's Bob Weinstein (brother of Harvey), unless I'm mistaken. I thought she was still with Jack White, who I would have loved to see on the red carpet. He could have worn a red and white tux -- that would have been sweet!

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Reston, Va. (again): I think what frustrates me is that too often the reviewer mistakes revealing the plot as a film review. Rarely do I see a WP reviewer talk about the directors voice or the nuances of the other artistic players (editing, photography, etc). I like to go to the movie and then like to read reviews to see what other people saw.

Jen Chaney: Interesting point. I think they do discuss nuances, quite a bit actually, but occasionally they go into a little too much detail re: plot. It's hard, especially when you're reviewing a lot of movies on tight deadlines.
Ooh, here comes Bill Murray!

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It's a hurdy-gurdy: The instrument Sting was playing, that is. Seriously, that's what it's called--it's like a violin, but the bow is fixed in place, and you play it by turning the crank.

Jen Chaney: Sting was playing the hurdy-gurdy. The great mystery solved! Thanks.

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Reston, Va.: As the movie editor, what exactly do you do then?

Jen Chaney: "Lord of the Rings" just won best make-up. That's number four for the hobbits, by my count. OK, what I do (in brief): Maintain all of the movie content on the Web site, including the much beloved stoplights, the movies page, all of the Oscar material (obviously), and a lot of other stuff. I also write a DVD column, monitor our showtimes feed and handle all the site's theater content as well. And I occasionally contribute to the paper, though that's not part of my job per se. That's a brief description; I'm sure I'm forgetting something since I'm distracted by the witty repartee between John Travolta and Sandra Bullock, currently presenting the award for Best Sound. And the winner is ... "Lord of the Rings." Man, they are cleaning up!

Jen Chaney: See answer above. P.S. "Master and Commander" just won in the sound editing category. Finally, something besides "Lord of the Rings" won ... oh wait, that's because it wasn't nominated in this category!

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Washington, D.C.: Jen-

I've been dying to ask this question of someone but I didn't know who to ask. Maybe you know: WHERE IS STEPHEN HUNTER? Is he still with the Post? Is he promoting his book? When does he come back? I miss his reviews so much. He said of some fluffy Brittany Murphy move this year, "There is nothing wrong with this movie that not seeing it won't fix".

Where is my man at?

Jen Chaney: Stephen is on book leave. I believe he's coming back sometime relatively soon, though I don't know exactly when. I'm sure he'll be glad to know he's missed.

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Frederick, Md.: Isn't it weird that these actors and actresses always say they're totally surprised at winning, but they have an exta-long speech conveniently tucked away somewhere.

Jen Chaney: Totally. Althought, Renee didn't say she was surprised this time. She certainly didn't look it.
Right now a very blonde Julia Roberts (wearing a nude-colored dress, very popular this year) is presenting a tribute to Katharine Hepburn. She just quoted Hepburn as once telling Barbara Walters she owned one skirt and would "wear it to your funeral." Dang, busting on Barbara. And after her hard-hitting interview with Shrek, too!

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Austin, Tex.: I am half watching this ... Did something fall on Blake Edwards or was that supposed to happen?

Jen Chaney: I'm pretty sure that was supposed to happen. A "Pink Panther" tribute, I think. I feel like I'm half-watching at times, too. And yet, much as I love the Oscars, I'm not sure I'm missing anything.

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Re: Stephen Hunter: Oh, would I love to hear what he has to say about the Passion!

Jen Chaney: Everyone has strong opinions on it, and I'd be curious to hear his myself.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Jen - Is it me, or is Billy tanking big time? His bits are just embarrassing!

Jen Chaney: I don't think he's completely tanking. I do think that some of his jokes are a tad suggestive, especially since everyone's supposed to be on their best behavior after the Janet incident. Apparently, it's OK to see Billy on TV with his hands over his privates, but Janet's breast is a no-no.

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Arlington, Va.: Is anybody else annoyed that they are showing all of these movie clips (like the ones they are showing for Hepburn right now) in full screen? They should be letter boxing them because they are cutting a lot out. In one of the shots, half of Katharine Hepburn's head was cut out of the frame.

Jen Chaney: They may not be able to letter box select portions of the show for technical reasons. And I suspect more people would be annoyed if they letter boxed the entire program, though I could be wrong.

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Lagos, Nigeria: How in the world did Renee Zellweger lose the Bridget Jones weight in such a short time? Quite frankly, I liked her better when she was curvy.

Jen Chaney: I don't think she's lost all of it. She looks perfectly fine to me, but she's not nearly as bone-skinny as she was in "Chicago." Speaking of svelte, check out Oprah Winfrey -- she just presented "Mystic River" as one of the Best Pic nominees and she looks pretty darn good. Speaking of looking good, here comes John Cusack -- hubba, hubba.

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Gaithersburg, Md.: Funny how with "The Passion" every reviewer, writer, and newscaster has become an "expert" on whether or not the New Testament was an eyewitness account... of course they all say "nay"...

Jen Chaney: I don't want this to turn into a "Passion" discussion, since that's a serious subject for another time. I know I'm not an expert, but I still find it fascinating to discuss the film with others. Everyone sees it a little differently based on their own backgrounds. I do think it's indisputable that it's far too violent for children to see, but some are seeing it, as the story in yesterday's Style section suggested. Even if you think the violence was a necessary part of the movie, it still seems like too much for sensitive eyes. Now, back to the far more frothy Oscars.

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Arlington, Va.: Hey ... they're letter-boxing the clip for "Mystic River." Maybe they read my gripe on your chat!

Jen Chaney: Yes, I know the Oscar folks read this site religiously, especially during the ceremony.
Right now Naomi Watts and Alec Baldwin are presenting Best Documentary, a controversial category. And "Fog of War" is the winner. (There had been an issue with the possibility of "Capturing the Friedmans" winning because some of the alleged victims of the abuse described in the movie were offended by its nomination.)

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Elvis fan in Arlington, Va.: What was the name of the song -- and for what movie -- that Elvis Costello performed earlier tonight?

Jen Chaney: The song was "Scarlet Tide" and it's from "Cold Mountain." Update: Errol Morris (director of "Fog of War") just suggested that America may be "going down the same rabbit hole" it has in the past, the first words of protest against President Bush and the war in Iraq so far tonight. He got some applause from folks in the audience, then Billy Crystal quipped that he should have an interesting tax audit this year.

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Monterey, Calif.: The only important question to be asked - who WAS that woman with John Cusack? A beautiful dress on a beautiful woman. I picked the wrong time to be talking to my friends!

Jen Chaney: That was Diane Lane and she is quite a beautiful woman. Wait, let me understand this: You have friends over, you're watching the show on TV and you're online with us. Are you also TiVoing the show while you download the Oscar-nominated songs onto your iPod? And I thought I was multi-tasking!

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Another Vienna, Va. Oscar Watcher: Lagos -- Renee's figure is not the result of dieting, it's the result of tight lacing. It takes a corset to get that kind of victorian V shaped torso -- and a tight corset can hide a significant bit of poundage!

Jen Chaney: Of course, some people could use a corset and still not look quite that good, but that's another story.

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Kalorama, Washington, D.C.: Re: Marcia Gay Harden's hair: It looks like a duplicate of Barbra Streisand's do in "Funny Girl," when she sang "People" - a cross between 1910 and 1960.

Jen Chaney: I didn't see "Funny Girl," so I'll have to take your word for it. She definitely looks funny with her hair like that, that's for sure.

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Jen Chaney: OK, highlight of the night so far: That American Express commercial with Tiger Woods playing Bill Murray's character from "Caddyshack." That's the hardest I've laughed all evening. And Woods had that Murray shtick down. Maybe he should be nominated for an award.

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Jen Chaney: I can't believe it's already 11 p.m. Sting and Phil Collins just presented Best Score and the winner is ... Howard Shore for "Return of the King." Ay caramba, as much as I admire "Lord of the Rings," this is getting a bit stale.

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Ballston, Va.: I don't know what the "Lord of the Rings" count is up to at the moment, but it's possible that it may now have enough delegates to win the Democratic presidential nomination.

Jen Chaney: By my count, it's seven. And yes, I believe it has now won the Democratic nomination: Frodo's up for Prez, and Gollum is his running mate.
Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara, a.k.a. Mitch and Mickey from "A Mighty Wind," are performing right now. Wonder if they'll kiss at that pivotal moment in the song?

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Kalorama, Washington, D.C.: Mitch and Mickey! Yeah! Will they do the kiss??????

Jen Chaney: They did indeed. Nicely done, I thought. And if you thought that was good, Will Ferrell and Jack Black are going to perform shortly. What I wouldn't give to hear "School of Rock" right now.

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Washington, D.C. 20008: What is the blue pin all the Aussies are wearing? And can Peter Jackson get a tailor? His suit looks like he just picked it up from the rental shop.

Jen Chaney: Don't know what the blue pin is. Anyone else know? And Peter Jackson wouldn't be Peter Jackson if his outfit didn't look slightly askew. That's his signature style, man.

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LolaVille, Lithuania: Where's is Halle Berry, I thought they said she's at the ceremony?

Jen Chaney: Good question, I haven't seen Miss Berry all evening. Are you really writing from Lithuania? Because between you and the reader from Nigeria, I'm impressed. Oh, here comes Will and Jack!

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Jen Chaney: Sorry, I had to pause to watch Ferrell and Black. They just sang the words to the song the orchestra plays when they want winners to stop talking. The song itself wasn't that funnny -- "No need to thank your parakeet/You're boring" -- but their delivery was rather enjoyable. They should star in a movie together; I think I might pay to see them watch paint dry. Oh, and surprise, "Lord of the Rings" just won Best Song for "Into the West." That brings their award total to roughly eight gazillion.

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Monterey, Calif.: Multi-tasking is important in today's world! Am I the only person who noticed "Return of the King" was an overwrought, 6/10 exercise in slow-motion abuse? This is a classic example of the Academy recognizing movies they respect the making of, the best or not. The technical awards make sense, but finest movie of the year? "Titanic" vs. "L.A. Confidential" all over again, anyone?

Jen Chaney: I wouldn't say "Return of the King" is my favorite movie, but I think it's an impressive achievement, especially when you consider all three films, which I suspect a lot of Academy members did.
OK, it's confirmed. Uma's wearing the worst dress of the night. She's drowning in white foofiness.

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Arlington, Va.: This is dragging on! Any guesses to when the madness will stop?

Jen Chaney: All right, let's start the bidding. I think we're down to the big categories, so there's only six left. I'm going to say 12:25. Others care to guess?

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Washington, D.C.: Is it just me, or does Charlize look orange? Too much fake tan!

Jen Chaney: She looked a little orange, though I'll have to look more closely next time she appears on camera.

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Washington, D.C.: My friend won the Oscar for short film. There's a lot of behind the scenes stuff all week. All nominees rehearse their acceptance speech beecause it's supposed to be less than 15 seconds! EVERYTHING I scripted....

Jen Chaney: Did you really write your friend's acceptance speech? That's pretty cool. So you win an Oscar vicariously.
The Coppolas (Francis Ford and Sofia) are presenting adapted screenplay as we write. And the winner is (I love saying that) ... well, this is just unprecedented. It's "Lord of the Rings"!

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Jen Chaney: Sofia Coppola just won Best Original Screenplay. I suspect that's her consolation prize for not getting Best Director, which Jackson should win easily. Also, more updates: "Barbarian Invasions" won Best Foreign Film, in case you missed that one.

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San Jose, Calif.: That's 9 for 9. How many were Titanic and Ben Hur nominated for when they got their 11? I think Titanic at least lost one or two.

Jen Chaney: I want to say those two were both nominated for 12, but I'm not positive. "Titanic" definitely lost at least one because Kate Winslet didn't win.

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Seattle, Wash.: So what do you predict to be the surprise of the night. So far, there haven't been any.

Jen Chaney: If there is a surprise, I think it will come with Best Actor. If it doesn't, this may be one of the most boring Oscars ever.

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Another Vienna, Va. Oscar Watcher: There has been a bit written about how Sofia Copolla is Marc Jacobs's muse (so let's guess who designed her gown). How does one become a muse? Please Jen, do tell!;

Jen Chaney: And Bill Murray is Sofia's muse. I'm not sure how one becomes a muse exactly. Maybe Sharon Stone knows, since she starred in that really bad Albert Brooks movie "The Muse."

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Reston, Va.: Do you think that Whoopi Goldberg is having a smackdown with Halle Berry because she forgot to acknowledge her during her 2002 acceptance speech?

Jen Chaney: I'm thinking Whoopi's over that by now. Besides, if she should be smacking anybody it's herself, for starring in that horrible NBC sitcom.

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New Orleans, La.: Is LOTR for best picture a foregone conclusion now? After all of those wins tonight, it seems like I can turn off the TV.

Jen Chaney: No, don't do that! Then I'll be without your company. Plus, they're about to give the Peter Jackson award, I mean, Best Director.

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Tokyo, Japan: Hey, thanks for keeping us up to date. Thought I would throw my two cents from the land of the rising sun.

Jen Chaney: You're welcome. Are you staying in the same hotel as Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation," by any chance?
More updates: Peter Jackson just won. And he got a kiss on the lips from Liv Tyler! That should give hope to chubby guys who don't brush their hair, shouldn't it?

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Jen Chaney: OK, kids, it's time for Best Actress. The question: Will the winner lay one on Adrien Brody like he did last year to Halle Berry? Let's watch...

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Jen Chaney: Charlize Theron just won Best Actress. She kissed Adrien Brody, but only in a nice, conservative way. She does look a little orange, as one of our observant readers pointed out. And now she's crying. Finally, thankfully, someone got emotional tonight. Besides me, I mean.

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Washington, D.C.: Adrien Brody's breath freshener spray was a nice touch...

Jen Chaney: I agree, as was his comment about being under a restraining order.

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Sydney, Australia: What did you think of Theron's acceptance speech? A bit ordinary and "actressy", eh? Thanks for your top commentary.

Jen Chaney: It was "actressy," but I love a good crying speech. And she got weepy at the end. The Oscars are like weddings and bridal showers: they don't count until somebody cries.

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Elkridge, Md.: Have the censors cut anyone's speeches yet?

Jen Chaney: Not that I know of. Nicole Kidman's presenting Best Actor: will it be an upset or another non-surprise? The suspense is ... not killing me, actually.

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Monterey, Calif.: Diane Keaton looks worse than Uma Thurman. Diane Keaton looks like a clown. Not a funny clown, but a sad, silent movie-era clown. I bet that huge flower doesn't even squirt water!

Jen Chaney: I don't know, I kind of like it. Especially because it's such an "Annie Hall" throwback and she made a comeback as an actress this year.

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Jen Chaney: OK, I officially lost my Oscar pool. Sean Penn just won for Best Actor. He got a standing ovation, and he just said there were no WMDs (weapons of mass destruction) within the first five seconds of his speech. He gave a wonderful performance in "Mystic River," but I needed an upset if only to stay awake. Ah well. Nice speech by Penn. And now, back to the "Lord of the Rings" sweep -- we're on to Best Picture.

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St. Petersburg, Fla.: ROBBED!! ROBBED!!!! BILL MURRAY WAS ROBBED!!! Come on, Jen, don't you think Sean Penn was just a little overwrought in "Mystic River"??

Jen Chaney: I can see why some thought he was overwrought, but I really found him moving. Spielberg just announced "Lord of the Rings" won Best Picture, which means it tied for most wins with "Titanic" and "Ben Hur." It went 11 for 11. Man, I wish Maryland's basketball team had a record that good.

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Silver Spring, Md.: Oh my god -- is this thing over yet? Is this not the most boring Academy Awards ever, or what? Can I please go to bed now?

Jen Chaney: OK, Silver Spring, I think you can go to bed now. "Lord of the Rings" just won.

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Alexandria, Va.: Don't you feel sorry for Bill Murray? He looked crushed!

Jen Chaney: I feel a little bad for Bill. But he may get another chance at some point. And even if he doesn't win an Oscar, he always has "Meatballs." And that's accomplishment enough in my book.

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Another Vienna, Va. Oscar Watcher: Thanks Jen, you made staying home sick on Oscar night fun ... Keep watching the movies and don't miss Joan Rivers tomorrow!

Mary D. in Vienna, VA

Jen Chaney: Thanks, Mary D. I hope it wasn't the boring show that made you sick. The Oscars wrapped up this year right around 12:10 a.m., clocking in at roughly 3 hours and 40 minutes, or just slightly longer than Best Picture winner "Return of the King." It's been fun spending the evening with all of you. Hopefully we can do this again next year during an Oscars show with more surprises. Until then, keep your feet on the ground and don't ever wear a dress that looks like Uma Thurman's.

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Bethesda, Md.: Someone asked about the blue pins all the Lord of the Rings guys are wearing. They are good luck pins designed especially for them, courtesy of a fan website called theonering.net (TORN). Said website is hosting a HUGE bash in LA as I write, and the cast and crew are anticipated to show up (they have both years prior, as New Line doesn't have an Oscar party.)

Jen Chaney: I'm posting this one last comment, since folks were asking about this earlier. Thanks for the info, Bethesda. And thanks again to all of you for watching the Oscars with me.
If you're still up for chatting, you'll have three opportunities tomorrow to do so: critic Desson Thomson's on at 12:30 p.m. ET, myself and Janet Bennett will discuss Oscar fashion at 2 p.m. ET and William Booth will dish on the behind-the-scenes Oscar gossip at 3 p.m. ET. Good night, and pleasant hobbit dreams.

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