Stop! I Can't Stanza It

It's a crime to make the news rhyme

Hallmark's rhymes don't keep up with the times

Even in greeting-card seasons.

Wisely, they choose to steer clear of the news,

(Here are six very good reasons).

- - -

Tortiously Optimistic

Some say that lawyers are bad to the bone,

That they're America's case of arthritis,

That they're crooked and personal-injury-prone

And as rich and as greedy as Midas.

"Not true," they protest, nearly popping their lid,

"But, speaking of sore-joint conditions --