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ASK AMY

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Dear Amy:

I don't approve of same-sex relationships and am opposed to same-sex marriage. I don't wish to offend or hurt people involved in same-sex relationships and wonder what is the polite way to let them know that I do not condone their lifestyle?

Kind but Disapproving

I can't think of the last time I felt compelled to condone somebody else's lifestyle. Perhaps I live in a "don't ask, don't tell" bubble, but how often, really, are any of us forced to approve or disapprove of somebody else's sexuality and life choices?

I don't think there is a polite way to let someone know that you don't condone his or her lifestyle, because volunteering your disdain of anything so personal seems fairly rude, in my view. If you are asked to condone someone's lifestyle and you honestly say that you cannot, that isn't being rude, it is answering a question.

I think a good rule of thumb is, if you don't wish to offend people, then don't. That goes for straights, gays and everyone in between.

Write to Amy Dickinson ataskamy@tribune.comor Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

2005by the Chicago Tribune Distributed by Tribune Media Services Inc.

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