BURBANK, Calif. -- Who among us can resist the allure of the face-eating tumor? The lady with lobster claws for hands? The stomach-churning habit of the girl who couldn't stop eating her hair? As the baritone announcer says: "Science fiction? Think again!"
Yes, it's another episode of "Medical Incredible" from the Discovery Health Channel, which features, literally, a descendant of circus freaks.
"Is this medieval madness or a miracle of microsurgery?" Cut to the shot of the leeches.
Available in 57 million homes, the Discovery Health Channel is TV that offers the kind of voyeuristic fix you usually have to visit sick relatives in hospitals to attain.
The DHC prime-time lineup includes shows such as "Archie, the 84-lb. Baby," "The Man Who Slept for 19 Years" and "Plastic Surgery Beverly Hills." People, it's Health Class Gone Wild.
Two-hundred-pound tumors?
"Those do extraordinarily well from a ratings perspective." This is from Eileen O'Neill, general manager of Discovery Health Channel, who bills her network as "TV That Matters." Indeed. The network has grown 25 percent in prime-time viewing this year (it's now in 40th place and averages 229,000 pairs of eyeballs on a weeknight).
"We are positioned," O'Neill says, "to take the network to the next level."
And, naturally, that position would be sexual.
Because the network that brings you "Birth Day Live!" featuring 10 hours of "live human births" (cue to announcer in hushed golf tournament voice: "She's fully dilated and ready to go," and then Dr. Wong urging "push, push, push, push, push") is going to tell you where those babies come from.
At midnight Wednesday, DHC will premiere "Strictly Sex With Dr. Drew," which the press kit describes as "a fearless look at sexuality with frank talk and honest answers . . . exploring America's favorite pastime."
The sexpert's debut marks a slightly new direction for Discovery Health. The network has done sex before -- with "Berman & Berman," featuring the sex therapist/urologist sisters (now canceled). That show, and a lot of DHC programming, skews toward a female demographic (O'Neill lists their competitors as Oxygen and Lifetime). The corporate thinking is that Dr. Drew might bring in more guys.
