Geldof: I Don't Like EBay

Almost 26 years have passed, and Bob Geldof is still in a shooting mood.

This time, he fired verbal bullets at online auction giant eBay, whose U.K. subsidiary was hosting auctions for tickets to the upcoming Live 8 concerts that Geldof organized to fight poverty in Africa.

The Associated Press reported Tuesday afternoon that eBay no longer will host auctions for the tickets: "Managing Director Doug McCallum said the company would take the tickets off its auction site, although the company said reselling charity concert tickets was not illegal in Britain. 'We've listened carefully to our customers,' McCallum told Britain's ITV television. 'Overwhelmingly the voice is that they would like us to take down the listing.'"

Geldof was angry because tickets -- 150,000 for the July 2 London Hyde Park show alone -- were supposed to be free, won in a lottery conducted via text messaging. He told Sky News that eBay's failure to remove the auctions was "despicable," and "they should have thought about it before they did this," the AP reported.

Wired.com described how the concert -- featuring the likes of Paul McCartney, Snoop Dogg, U2, Sting and Madonna -- is supposed to work: "Live 8 is not intended as a fund-raiser; rather, Geldof wants to use the concert to inspire the G8 group of industrialized nations, which meets in July in Scotland, to tackle systemic poverty issues in Africa by doubling aid money and canceling debts owed by poor nations. Live 8 is actually a series of concerts to be held simultaneously in London, Paris, Berlin, Rome and Philadelphia."

The BBC quoted Geldof as saying that the auctions exploited the "weakest people on our planet." He also scoffed at the company's offer to make matching donations to charity: "It is filthy money made on the back of the poorest people on the planet -- stick it where it belongs." Perhaps St. Bob's flagellation sounds harsh at first, but maybe it was in response to eBay's initial take on the matter: Reselling items intended for charity is not illegal in Great Britain.

Translation: Get stuffed, Pink.

As of this writing, ebay.co.uk features one auction commanding 10 million pounds (only 3.95 for postage!) in which the seller says: "This ad might be removed soon, so 'Buy it now' before it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!" A search for tickets on eBay's U.S. Web site turned up two bids each running at 10 million pounds ($18.2 million). One seller offers his phone number for "serious bidders," while another warns off time-wasters and promises to donate the proceeds to charity.

The Boston Globe quoted Kenyan-born documentary filmmaker Sam Kiley: "How very African: For every well-intentioned dollar, there is $1,000 of thievery. Tragically, the whole eBay scam reflects the kind of greed and corruption that robs the place blind."

Wired.com reported that these are actually fake bids from "outraged eBay members." "The phony bids made the sale of tickets impossible, as almost every bid was fraudulent," Wired wrote, adding that some sneaky customers are checking out the eBay action: "Others opened new accounts to place fake bids, including one called live8legalteam, prompting speculation that the bidding was organized by Live 8 itself."

History note: For those of you who are young enough to have been spared Geldof's earlier incarnation, he was the frontman for the Boomtown Rats before playing the lead role in the 1982 film "Pink Floyd: The Wall." He achieved worldwide renown in 1985 when he and Midge Ure put together the Live Aid fundraising concerts in London and Philadelphia. Its noteworthy technological moments came when McCartney's microphone went on the fritz during a performance of "Let It Be," and Phil Collins managed to sing at both venues thanks to the Concorde. This year's technological achievement probably will be a clear violation of the basic laws of physics: the reunion of the rock world's bitterest pill, Roger Waters, with his old mates from Pink Floyd. The band hasn't played with the lineup that made it famous -- and bloated -- since the "Wall" album came out in 1979.

For a Cliff's Notes version of the event, set to music, check out John Wesley Harding's brilliant song "July 13th, 1985." (Not suitable for those with aversions to mild profanity and lighthearted references to cocaine use.)

Putting the Story in Con-Text

Before selling their tickets on eBay, text messagers everywhere did their duty, catapulting the ticket competition for Live 8 into the record books, Reuters reported. Here's how the contest went:

"Music fans broke a world record when they sent more than 2 million text messages to try to get tickets for next month's Live 8 concert in London, the Guinness Book of Records said Monday. The record-breakers' bible said 2,060,285 texts were received, setting a record for the 'Largest Text Message Lottery.' . . . With would-be concertgoers paying 1.50 pounds per text message to win a pair of tickets to Hyde Park concert, the scheme earned Live 8 a total of about 3 million pounds ($5.4 million). Some of the money will be given the Prince's Trust charity of heir-to-the-throne Prince Charles which had to cancel its own event to make way for Live 8."

The real news behind this story is that people were willing to risk carpal tunnel syndrome just so they could see Sting and U2 ... again.

A Shot of Jaeger, a Text Message and Thou

Text messaging is beginning to take over as the young inebriate's way of expressing the affection that remains bottled up until the booze is uncorked. The Miami Herald calls it "TUI" or "Texting Under the Influence." It told the story of 24-year-old artist Kiki Valdes: "At campus parties, Valdes would drink and think of Isis, the dark-haired Cubanita he had known since childhood. She would listen to his meanderings but never wanted to be his girlfriend. Still, he kept tapping out messages to her. Today, the two don't speak at all, Valdes says. Had there only been a checkpoint -- for someone to take away his cell phone."

Here's another gem from the Herald: "Many people have TUI stories -- they just don't remember them. Or don't want to admit them. Like Jonathan West, who recently strolled down Lincoln Road with his partner, Mark Jeynes, both texting away. Once, West was out drinking and texted Jeynes a rather raunchy message. One problem -- he sent it to wrong person: 'Mark' is just above 'Mom' on his cell's address book." I'm many things, but not a psychologist. But doesn't this sound like a Freudian slip between the cup and the lip?

You Have Been Warned by JarmuschJ

Hollywood's producers, directors, actors and crew have discovered instant messaging, Wired reported. "Instead of displaying simple 'away from my computer' messages, Hollywood buddy lists now overflow with come-ons, from 'need work' to 'wrapping up shoot.' Producers hiring for a new production can tell at a glance who's available now, who's not and who might be free in the near future. 'Ninety percent of my work is given to me through a pop-up (chat window) on my desktop,' said Simon Foster, 32, a freelance production coordinator living in Santa Monica."

The big question is whether anyone who "matters" uses instant messaging. Well, if David Mamet can write for the Huffblog, I suppose David Lynch could be persuaded to seek fresh, new talent via IM.

Park, Then Phone

Last month, I told you how I frequently tooled down the New Jersey Turnpike at a zippy 80 miles per hour while talking on my cell phone. Enough readers convinced me of something that I already knew ... so yes, I slowed down. I do still talk on the phone, but with a headset.

At the time I told this story, I was writing about how Chicago's aldermen passed a ban on driving while communicating using a handheld device. Today, I bring you this Wall Street Journal report: "Among the many distractions faced by car drivers, cell phones and other wireless devices contributed to far and away the most crashes, near-crashes and other incidents, according to a new government study expected to be released next week. The yearlong study, which tracked 100 cars and their drivers by the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, or NHTSA, highlights the danger of talking on cellphones. The results come as Connecticut last week passed a law banning the use of hand-held phones while driving. Several other states are considering similar legislation."

Here's the interesting part: "But even as safety concerns have led several states and local jurisdictions to ban drivers from using hand-held phones, some 40 percent of cell phone use still takes place while driving." So what has to happen now? Should there be a total ban on phones while driving ... period? You tell me.

Finally, the Miami Herald wrote a story about why South Florida drivers might want to keep their phones nearby: "Parking in Coral Gables, home to 4,573 parking meters, has been made easier by the introduction this month of a park-and-pay-by-cell-phone service -- touted as the first of its kind in the country. That's right: Pay by phone. You pull up, dial a number, punch in a few keys and walk away without a worry. The meter won't expire until you call again to log off."

Send links and comments to robertDOTmacmillanATwashingtonpost.com.