'We Were Just Passing Through': Houseguest Horror Stories -- and a Few Happy Surprises

The couple who wouldn't return our calls all spring (while we were getting our boat out of dry dock) took the cake. The first weekend the boat was ready, they showed up at the dock soon after we did, luggage and children in hand, and literally said, "We were just passing through."

Donna Wiesner

Alexandria

Quite some time ago, I was the only woman speaker at a medical symposium in a small Southern college town. The physician who organized the event, a gentleman of the old school, apparently decided it would be inappropriate for me to stay at the hotel with the other speakers and arranged for me to stay at the home of his nurse.

As I was shown to the guest room, my hostess mentioned that one of her three dogs -- the largest -- also slept in the room. The dog was not curled in a cozy corner, but was stretched out full-length on the bed. He responded to my requests, even my orders, to get down on the floor by curling his lip and showing some fangs.

Finally I lay down very carefully on the edge of the bed, alongside the dog. All night, if I moved so much as a toe, I was met with a low and ominous growl.

While sleepless, I survived this gracious hospitality, but from then on, I have preferred to take my chances with two-footed beasts.

Joan Hoover

Chevy Chase

One Sunday afternoon, after showing our houseguest around town, we returned home and found a police car in front of our house. The alarm had gone off, the back door was open and the police were swarming our house, checking every room, closet and shower stall for the potential robber.

Meanwhile, our guest "sorta remembered" going out the back door to use his cell phone, and wondered if perhaps he had not locked the door, enabling it to blow open.

One police officer got into a shouting match with the next-door neighbor about the fact that their dog, contained by an invisible fence, was wildly barking and stalking the cops. Meanwhile, a teenager blithely walking a dog down the street without a leash also incurred a reprimand. An inspection sticker on a neighbor's car was outdated; someone was parked too close to the hydrant. None of this would have occurred if the alarm had not gone off!