By Dan Steinberg and Desmond Bieler
Washington Post Staff Writers
Monday, June 20, 2005
'Tis the summer of prequels, and after finding out how Darth Vader got so evil, now "Batman Begins" is here to tell us how the Caped Crusader got so medieval, at least on the behinds of bad guys. Of course, we're still saving our $9.50 for the imminent release of "Dude, Where's My Big Wheel?" And while Batman has his fans, plenty of people have their favorite Gotham villains, too.
Two-Face, Mike Scioscia: Fails to follow through on promise to have Nats pitchers undressed. So he'll have to wait with the rest of us to see if these guys are ever exposed.
The Joker, Bernie Ecclestone: Asked about Danica Patrick, Formula One chief quips that "women should be all dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances." Gee, didn't know appliances came in white during the 19th century.
The Bookworm, Bill Musgrave: Redskins QB coach claims Patrick Ramsey "knows our system like the back of his hand." Of course, given the team's efforts to replace him, it's safe to say Ramsey is also well acquainted with the back of Joe Gibbs's hand.
Riddler, Clinton Portis: Running back claims Ramsey "looks like Peyton Manning" in minicamp. Portis later claimed to see an "uncanny resemblance" between Joe Gibbs and Tony Dungy.
General, Peter Nowak: United coach will lead team during high-profile Chelsea exhibition at FedEx Field. Fans hoping to see 90 minutes of Freddy Adu will thus find themselves in a familiar position: obstructed by a Pole.
Hush, David C. Frederick: Orioles attorney asks FCC to get involved in TV spat with Nats. Not sure why the agency hasn't already stuck its nose in, because both sides have spent weeks violating decency standards.
Poison Ivy, Ricky Williams: Packs his belongings and begins driving to South Florida from Grass Valley, Calif. His route will reportedly take him through Weed Heights, Nev.; Smoky Hill, Kan.; High Point, N.C.; and southeastern Wisconsin's Bong Recreation Area.
Clayface, David Newhan: Orioles outfielder gets misty after demotion to minors. And you thought the Dolphins' locker room would have a lot of red eyes.
Catwoman, Lindsay Lohan: In upcoming film, she teams with Herbie to thrive on NASCAR circuit. Of course, Robby Gordon argues that Lohan has acquired an unfair advantage by slimming down to about 80 pounds.
Mad Hatter, Louis Pullen: Jason Gore's caddie sports cap bearing Pabst Blue Ribbon logo. Panicked about getting upstaged, John Daly announces agreement to have his bag carried by the Swedish Bikini Team.
Bane, Bo Bice: American Idol runner-up says he was thinking "don't let me win this thing" during the competition's final round, an approach apparently emulated by Retief Goosen.
Shame, Bill Laurie: Heir to Wal-Mart fortune puts St. Louis Blues up for sale. Seems it's been ages since some NHL news provided the occasion for a smiley-face.
The Eraser, Kevin McBride: Fighter now says Mike Tyson bit his nipple during D.C. heavyweight fight, thereby supplanting Kwame Brown as the most prominent athlete to act like a baby at MCI Center.
Benched: Michelin tires, MasterCards, private financing, pine tar, 9 p.m. Sunday tip-offs.