Invitations in Sanskrit, Vows in Celtic, African Drumming and Cakes Made of Rice
By Isabel C. González
Special to The Washington Post
Thursday, June 23, 2005
When Michelle and Richard Hughes got married at the Arts Club of Washington last year, they knew they wanted their wedding celebration to reflect exactly who they are.
"We had been to a wedding where the bride was Asian and the groom was Jewish and they incorporated these touches from their backgrounds," says Michelle Hughes, "and we were just so touched by how special it all was."
Michelle, who is Italian American, and Richard, who is African American, read books and consulted family members about traditions they could incorporate into their ceremony.
For Michelle, that meant honoring Richard's family history by jumping the broom, a custom symbolizing commitment to a new life together that is steeped in African and African-American history. "Richard's mom has her [broom] hanging on a wall in her house, so I asked her to decorate one for us," said Michelle. They jumped over the broom after the vows and rings were exchanged but before The Kiss at the altar.
To honor the bride's heritage, Italian cookies were served as part of the wedding feast. "We saw the wedding as an opportunity to reflect our families' backgrounds and a way for our families to learn about each other," said Michelle.
In April, former Washington-area residents Miku and Judy Mehta married, in a celebration that included colors, foods and music from their respective backgrounds, India and Taiwan. Invitations to the 400-person event used Sanskrit and Chinese symbols and characters. Guests joined in a traditional Indian dance called garba, honoring Ambaji, goddess of might and power. A priest administered the ceremony by reading religious verses in Sanskrit.
In 1970, fewer than one percent of marriages in America were between people of different races; by 2000, that number had increased to more than five percent, according to researchers Sharon M. Lee and Barry Edmonston of Portland State University. Their study, published this month by the Population Reference Bureau, strongly suggests that the percentage will rise even further as Americans' attitudes about race and culture continue to change -- and as more people identify themselves as multiracial on Census forms, something they were allowed to do for the first time in 2000.
"In the 1950s if you married someone from a different ethnic, country or religious group you could be considered an outcast," said Michelle R. Nelson, an assistant professor of journalism and mass communication at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In a recent paper on Web site message boards dedicated to inter-cultural and inter-racial wedding planning, Nelson found that brides "are increasingly rejecting scripted and lavish white weddings that don't allow for personal and cultural identity." Instead they are incorporating their families' country, culture or race specific traditions, such as including Romanian folk dances or wearing a Spanish mantilla.
Katie L. Martin, president of Elegance & Simplicity Wedding & Event Designers, with offices in Georgetown and Bethesda, coordinated the wedding for Michelle and Richard Hughes. She estimates that her team produces 150 to 175 weddings a year, and says that at least half of them showcase traditions or customs mixing cultural, ethnic and religious traditions. "The Hugheses did a lot in terms of blending cultures and backgrounds and in a beautiful way, including African drumming and an African-American pastor."
Martin recalls a recent wedding for an Afghan Muslim bride and an Indian Muslim groom, incorporating rituals from both cultures. "The bride wore a sari during the ceremony to honor the groom's family, and the reception was alive with Middle Eastern music and dancing," she said.
Wendy Raab is co-owner of Rave Reviews, an event-management company in Kensington. Her firm has produced several intercultural weddings this year, including Indian-American, Pakistani-American and Korean-American celebrations.
"I've been in this industry for 30 years and I've done more of these weddings in the last five years than ever before," Raab said.
"The baby boomers were more focused on classic wedding style," she said. "The brides and grooms didn't have the knowledge the brides and grooms have now, so often it was the parents who did everything for them."
In January, her business partner, Sidni Greenblat, oversaw a wedding in Puerto Rico for a Washington couple. "The bride is Argentine and the groom is Jamaican American, so their first dance was a tango and we served Jamaican food at the rehearsal dinner."
Maria Elena Jackson is owner of No Small Affair, an event-planning company in Arlington. She credits Martha Stewart with encouraging the trend toward personalized rather than perfunctory celebrations in her 1987 book "Weddings," and later in her specialty magazines devoted to the subject. "Her wedding magazine brought to the forefront that the event is really about making it your own, reflecting your and your groom's personalities so that it doesn't just become another wedding," said Jackson.
The Knot, a wedding planning magazine and Web site, includes a cultural celebrations section on global customs. "We publish stories on brides and grooms, how they met and the customs they included. [It] is one of the most popular sections," says executive editor Rosie Amodio. "It's part of the anti-copycat wedding movement."
In Korea, according to the site, American-style wedding cakes would be considered too sweet; a more popular choice would be a cake of ground steamed rice covered in red bean powder. In the West Indies, guests pay for a peek at the wedding cake hidden under a white tablecloth, which is believed to bring good luck. In Russian Georgian weddings, often held at home, the bride kicks over a pitcher of wine and scatters bread dough around the house to ensure fertility.
Instead of the bride throwing her bouquet to single girlfriends, as is common in many American weddings, Amodio says in Turkish weddings, "all the single girls sign their name on the bottom of the bride's shoes and the name that is most worn out by the end of the night is the next to get married."
As blended weddings become more popular, so does the availability of specialty supplies in the American marketplace.
Renellie International ( http://www.renellie.com ) is a California-based company doing a brisk business selling cake toppers that can be mixed and matched by race (and gender). The firm, launched earlier this year, sold out of its initial 450-item stock in less than two months.
"I'm African American and my husband is Asian and when we got married I was so frustrated that I couldn't find a cake topper that looked like us," says co-owner Rena Puebla. "I was seeing so many couples from different countries and cultures getting married, so I knew there was a market for them." Their current best seller is the Asian bride. "We can hardly keep it in stock," says co-owner Ellie Genuardi. (The hand-painted 7-inch toppers, sold wholesale and on their Web sites, http://www.weddingate.com and http://www.renellie.com , start at $69.99 a pair.)