Variations on a Pledge

I pledge allegiance to the not-to-be-burned flag of the United States of Halliburton and to all the special interests for which it stands, one nation, under Tom DeLay, divided between conservatives willing to defend it and liberals who offer its enemies paid vacations, with profits and pensions for just a few.

-- David Corn, Washington editor, the Nation magazine

I pledge allegiance to the flag-burning of the United States of America, and to the republic which the courts command, one nation, above God, indivisible (except for all that race, class and gender warfare), with equality and five-star beach resorts for all terrorists.

-- Julia Gorin, "The Conservative Comedian"

I pledge allegiance to the flag, but let's be careful not to brag.

We need to fix so many laws that still have fundamental flaws.