Book: "Wicked Traveler," by Howard Tomb (Workman Publishing, $8.95)
Target: People wishing to advance from " Voulez vous coucher avec moi ?"
When traveling abroad, knowing how to say "Where's the bathroom?" in a different language is extremely helpful -- but it offers only momentary relief. By comparison, such phrases as "If you continue to take that attitude, I swear I'll smother my souffle in ketchup" (in French, to a snooty Gallic waiter) can be savored long after the red on your companion's face fades.
Tomb's subversive phrase book is like a best-of collection of the "Wicked" series, which teaches English speakers mirthful comebacks that teeter on the offensive. Covering five languages, the jaunty categories include "Organs You May Wish to Avoid Eating" in French, "Your Emergency Confession" (Italian), "Addressing the Mule" (Spanish), "How to Pick Up a Rhein Maiden" (German) and "Never Just Say No" (Japanese).
If you bring only this book on a trip, you will starve, may get kicked out of the Louvre/Italian church/Japanese tea house, and will desperately need a toilet. But when stumped on how to articulate your level of drunkenness on German beer, Tomb's book is wicked valuable.
-- Andrea Sachs
