Mammoth, in Depth

It wasn't pretty. I struggled over the sharp, irregular rocks that jutted from the floor of the Cheese Grater. I tried to straddle the puddles at the bottom of the Sewer Pipe. Then we came to Shotgun, which Neff said would certify us as real cavers.

Others navigated this tunnel by wedging their elbows against its edges and splaying their legs over the orange water at its base. They then crawled forward, bellies hovering over the water.

Right.

I collapsed and splashed straight through, sending a torrent gushing out the tunnel's end. After I emerged, Neff commented that he'd gotten the edge of his bag wet. My T-shirt plastered to my chest, I said I felt really, truly sorry for him.

Finally, the cave spit us back onto the main tourist trail, and we started walking toward the exit. Just before hitting daylight, we passed a regular tour group, stopped for a ranger talk in one of the cave's biggest passageways.

Undoubtedly they were impressed by such geological wonders. But walking by, I wondered what they thought of me -- wearing a hard hat, sopping wet and covered in cave dirt. Maybe, just maybe, they thought something flattering but completely untrue.

Maybe they thought they'd just seen a real caver.

Atlanta freelancer Ben Brazil last wrote for Travel about his short-lived modeling career in Argentina.

Details: Mammoth Cave National Park

GETTING THERE: The closest major airports to the Kentucky park are in Louisville and Nashville, both about 1 1/2 hours away by car. Many major airlines fly from Washington to both cities, but you'll need a rental car to get to the park. Restricted round-trip fares to Nashville and Louisville begin around $125.

CAVE TOURS: The Wild Cave Tour, the most difficult and most expensive offering of the park's 12 tours, lasts six to 6 1/2 hours and costs $46 per person. Open only to ages 16 and older, the trip requires over-the-ankle boots and chest or hip measurements 42 inches or smaller; bigger people won't fit. Additionally, people who fear heights or close spaces should not take this tour.

Walking-only tours range from brief self-guided trips inside the "historic entrance" to 4 1/2 -hour tours through major passageways; prices are $4 to $21. (See Information below.)