Frog Croaks; WB Suits Squeal

"The frog is dead and buried," WB Chairman Garth Ancier said defiantly.

"And buried, yeah," chimed in programming chief David Janollari.

Gasps could be heard in the room.

"And that gets a really negative reaction -- okay!" said Ancier.

"Wait, wait -- we should talk about that," Janollari said. "That was a symbol that was -- especially in extensive testing that we did -- that perpetuated the young teen feel of the network, and that is not the image we want to put out to our audience."

"Do you know what day the frog died?"

"Services will be held," Janollari said apologetically.

"The frog was on life support for a long time, and then we got permission from a federal court to disconnect the feeding tube," Ancier said. He has been with the network since its launch in '95 and has always had it in for Mr. Frog, according to well-placed sources who wished to remain anonymous because it's a short hop from killing a frog to knocking off a snitch.

One particularly strong-stomached critic wondered whether Ancier, when he ran the entertainment division at NBC, had tried to whack the peacock.

"Well, no," Ancier said. "The peacock was a true American icon based on the advent of color television and is one of the most recognizable symbols, like the Apple logo, in corporate America. I don't think you would look at the frog and say that's one of the most recognized [corporate] symbols, like McDonald's arches, in corporate iconography, if that's the right word."

"Is that the remains of the frog?" asked another hardboiled critic, pointing to the new Ralph Steadman-ish signs, with the words "The WB" scrawled across splotches of yellow, green, blue and black.

"I'd say yes," Janollari said.