Dick Wolf Bares His Fangs

Critics don't "fuss" enough about "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," even though it's generally described as a "mature" show, Wolf complained.

"You read about who's hot, who's not -- these shows are never mentioned," he said, turning right around to say, "We're not looking to be the hot show; that's not what the 'Law & Order' brand is about. It's about longevity and about repeatability and about staying on the air and being a profit center for NBC for years to come."

One critic noted that Wolf was onstage "with three very well-reviewed actors" from his shows, that "your shows regularly get good reviews," and that he has the only series on TV "where cast changes are reported generally with gusto, but you always seem to be angry at us and . . . I'm seriously wondering, what would you consider fair treatment?"

"What makes me angry is the lack of sophisticated business reportage," Wolf shot back. "I understand there are business sections and television sections, but, come on, guys, there are no good-news newspapers."

The success of "Desperate Housewives" at "Law & Order's" expense is "a legitimate story, but . . . there is no recognition . . . that, yeah, we may get knocked around a little bit, but this is still the most profitable brand in the history of the medium . . . these shows generated $1 billion in advertising revenue last year."

(Variety reported on Monday that the "Law & Order" franchise runs an average of 45 times a week on NBC, TNT and USA, and the trade paper quoted an NBC Universal rep saying the brand generated more than $1 billion in ad revenue across those platforms last year.)

Wolf acknowledged that he had seen such references about the shows in "business articles" but not in "the popular press."

Wolf had opened his Q&A session with a little speech assuring critics he was "incredibly upset, disappointed, dismayed and any other adjectives that you could care to add" about NBC yanking "Law & Order: Trial by Jury" off the air last season. But, he noted, his relationship with NBC Universal is more like "a long-term marriage with no possibility of divorce" than a standard business relationship, and promised critics that the brand "is the most important piece of business to both of us."

Easing the pain somewhat, Wolf is now at work on a new series about New York assistant district attorneys that will use the "Trial by Jury" set -- did you know that the average age of an assistant DA in Manhattan is 28 years? Wolf says so.

And Wolf wanted critics to know he "couldn't be more thrilled" that his dream of selling the "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" format to an international network has come to fruition.

In one of those strange coincidences that make you think that maybe there is a higher power and maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt really can talk to dead people, on the very same morning that Wolf took the stage to reprimand critics, Variety broke the news that Wolf had struck a deal with French TV network TF1 to format "CI" for French audiences. Wolf told the trade paper that it was "an enormous accomplishment" and "by creating a localized French version, the potential to grow that audience becomes limitless."

At some point during his rant, Wolf insisted, "I'm not [ticked] off. I'm a very happy guy."

Mr. Wolf: I have served with happy guys. I knew happy guys. Happy guys are friends of mine. Mr. Wolf, you're no happy guy.