ABC's Two-Step Program

A. I believe the audience vote breaks the tie.

Q. Was that ever stated [on the show]?

A. I don't know, honestly, off the top of my head.

Overall score: 7. Points for honesty.

Episode 8 , Big Two-Hour Sweeps Special Finale

Q. What would you say to viewers who were just so disappointed in "Dancing With the Stars" that they say they'll never come back to look at it?

A. I hope that's not true. Should there be a rematch between the two -- would that satisfy people?

Score: 10. Answering a question with a question! You've really found a way and made it your own. Congratulations!

* * *

"That's really funny -- 'fraid not!" Monaco said late Tuesday during the "Dancing With the Stars" Q&A session, when asked about McPherson's idea of a dance-off.

"You want a dance-off, come on up here -- I'll give you a dance-off!" she snarled at the critic who'd asked the question.

She called her win "the most exhilarating moment of my life so far" and confided that she had agreed to go on the show despite the protestations of her actor pals because "I needed to light a match under my butt."

Another critic asked the judges whether they would, in future seasons of the series, bar ABC stars so as not to leave the network vulnerable to accusations the show was rigged if another one wins.

"I guess Trista wasn't part of ABC, huh? Oh, she was?" Monaco growled. (Trista Rehn Sutter, who competed on an early edition of ABC's pick-a-chick reality series "The Bachelor" and then starred in its flip-side show "The Bachelorette," was among the competitors on the dance series.)

And when another critic asked whether the judges thought the soap-opera fan base had turned out so strong for Monaco that her win was a foregone conclusion, Monaco shrieked, "John O'Hurley was part of a phenomenon: 'Seinfeld' -- 20 million viewers a week, still on the air in syndication! I'm on a soap that holds 2.5 million. You do the math!"

As to whether she was surprised by the negative reaction to her win, Monaco replied with her customary graciousness: "You guys are bombarding me -- I had no idea; this is an outrage!" then barked, "Of course I heard it. I read the tabloid magazines! I know -- ha ha ha ha!"

Want to bet when Monaco dances she leads?