The Paradox of Podcasting

Still, the things that are truly "revolutionary" are the ones that creep up on us. I am thinking at this moment of e-mail. It's a boring application, and would-be futurists in the journalism world already cite evidence that tomorrow's teens will prefer instant messaging to e-mail, which is too much like sending a letter.

But try living without e-mail these days. If you're reading this column online, I imagine that you can't live without it too long, even if you want to. There's no point in writing a story that says, "E-Mail: Everybody Uses It Now," but it is evidence that a communications revolution did take place.

If podcasting takes off the way e-mail did, then we'll have a real revolution on (or in) our hands.

I Like to Listen

For those of you who do enjoy podcasting, I have to ask: If you had the choice between sitting through President Bush's weekly radio address or some hot, steamy audio action, which would you choose?

The San Francisco Chronicle today covered the rise of "podnography," a portmanteau word that would make Lewis Carroll proud.

"A recent Google search for the phrase 'adult podcast' showed 6,850 results. Compare that to the category 'rock podcast,' which had only 3,890. In one sexcast -- available at www.podcastdirectory.com -- a San Francisco man describes a lurid rendezvous with a 'gorgeous' woman he meets on Craigslist. He calls it 'The Trist from Craigslist,' spelling 'tryst' with an 'I'," the Chronicle's Daniel King wrote. "To begin, he sets the scene. 'I went ahead and met her at a coffee shop,' he says. His voice is matter-of-fact and sedated. 'I could see her -- uh, the little points of her nipples poking through her red T-shirt.' From there, they walk to her place and close the door. 'It was a little awkward,' he says. 'She got us a couple of glasses of wine, and we're sitting there drinking.' Then he stands up and plants a kiss. 'And she kissed back -- a very, very eager kiss.' His lips become dry, and quickly, his voice gains speed: 'I started kissing her again ... sliding my tongue in her mouth.'"

I'll leave you to find that file on your own to see how things work out.

On a practical note, King said, podcasts offer anonymity that a phone-sex conversation never would: "With sexcasts, you don't have to sit up nights worrying that the phone-sex operator has Caller ID and will sell your number to marketers or call you the following day and speak to your parents or significant other."

The idea that the porn industry is usually the trailblazer when it comes to finding profits in the latest technology is not new, but I wonder how far an audio-only format will get in a medium that relies so much on, uh, visuals.

Bobbing for Apple

On another Apple note, Slate's Tim Noah filed part two of his two-part series on his quest to find a customer service phone number for the iTunes music store.

In his first installment, he detailed the beginning of his "Roger & Me"-style hunt for an actual phone representative, something that many of us find useful in the customer service experience when Web-based help desks no longer fulfill our needs.

The search began when he tried to help his sister Patsy find a number when she couldn't resolve a billing error on her iTunes account: "The number was: 1-800-676-2775. Choose menu option 1 for English, then menu option 2, and then menu option 1, and then menu option 3. But wait! Here's what I got after I'd done all that: If you're calling about a question relating to an iTunes music store purchase or gift certificate, please visit us on the Web at www.apple.com/support/iTunes and select the iTunes music store customer service link. (Click! Dial tone.)"

More frustration ensued, until Noah finally conceded in today's file that Apple simply doesn't offer phone-based customer service for iTunes. Here's the note he got from an anonymous former Apple employee: "I can tell you definitively that, as of now, there is no phone support for the iTunes Music Store. The absolute only way to get support is to open iTunes, go to the Music Store, and click the 'Support' link in the left-hand column. That takes you to a web page for all kinds of questions. Click the link that's most relevant (in this case, probably the section on 'Purchasing Information'). On every one of those pages, there's a form to get support. But don't waste your time looking for anything else. There are no alternatives."

Note to Apple: The Internet is a wonderful thing, but not making a phone-based customer service alternative available is like making yourself one degree less accessible than the DMV. That's no one's idea of a good time.

Send links and comments to robertDOTmacmillanATwashingtonpost.com.