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The Style Invitational
(Bob Staake For The Washington Post)
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and no action.*
(Chris Doyle)
[548-551]
The state's Mohels Union* was one person too large,
With its total* too high in December.
The solution was clear, so the fellows in charge
Made a motion and then cut* a member.*
(Seth Brown)
[3190-3195]
"Please do not harm* me," Joseph* cried* to his brothers.
"We have been like your servants*," they cruelly replied.
"Your dreams have dismissed* our
importance to others."
They did not suspect* that the dreams had not lied.
(Marleen and Rachel
May, Rockville)
[6025-6028]
This morning my wife ordered me: "Pete!*
Stem* upright!* Pump* it more! More!"
(Filling up her bicycle tire
Is such a tedious chore.)
(Peter Metrinko)
[6428-6431] Because of the public's jumping* perceptions,*
Adjusted* propaganda* is needed
So let's try some new deceptions --
The press will be easily stampeded.
(K. Rove, Washington) (Peter Metrinko)
[Anti-Invitational: backward from 11479-11476]
Ukrainian* chickens,* instinctive* notoriously,*
Know when the kitchen is working laboriously:
They'll be Chicken Kiev, prepared oh so gloriously. (Peter Metrinko)
[12558-12561] The day poor Elvis* strained to death while sitting on the potty,
No shotgun* was found in the room, just drugs that made him dotty.
Post-mortem rubble*-sifting showed not one sign of foul play.
The write-up, a formality,* just said, "King Died Today." (Michelle Stupak)
[13327-13330]
Fuel prices leap up by bucks* incremental.
My AC's control switch? A thing
ornamental.*
The prosperous merchants of OPEC* -- sans liquors --
Rejoice, while I swelter in nothing but knickers.* (Mark Eckenwiler)
[14208-14211]
Pausing* to think of a nice little verse,
I came up with garbage that just made me curse.
And, angered,* I tore up the works I had wrought* --
A loser* I am, but a poet I'm not.
(Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)
[38515-38518] The standardized tests are dumbed down to the point
Even stragglers* can't get them wrong:
" 'Sophocles,'* 'carburettor,'* 'Aristophanes'*:
Which of these doesn't belong?" (Brendan Beary)
[86795-86798]
Low-numbered words from WordCount
Can make poems without an absurd count.
But for high-numbered ones to ring true,
You need a high tolerance for multilingualism* and tangency* (in case of a word from a dialect of Carniola*)
And the not quite workless* form of poetry called clerihew.
(Dan Seidman, Watertown, Mass.)
Next Week: Keep the Empress Employed, or Enl@rge yuor c1rculati0n!
