Hear What I'm Saying?

Baltimore caterer Nancy Sachs tells an interesting story. "I used to ask my people to turn off their cell phones before we did a job," she says. "Now I just confiscate them. A lot of my guys are in the back, out of sight of the clients, so they don't understand why it matters if they're on the cell or not."

In a multi-tasking society, waiting for something to happen, or even doing a single job -- taking inventory, for example -- is the kind of activity that, when someone asks us what's we're up to, makes us respond, "Nothing." So if we're not doing anything, why not get on the phone?

The same logic could be applied to iPod use. For years, some companies have allowed office-bound employees to play music in their cubicles as long as it's not too loud. The key was not to intrude on other people's space. So isn't wearing an iPod earpiece, which is completely private, actually being a better cubicle-mate? A friend goes a step further -- he likes to take his iPod on a crowded Metro, he says, as "a more polite way to ignore people."

He expands: "To stand there face to face with no reading materials in hand and still have nothing to say to someone, not even a hello, that's plain rude where I come from. But, hey, I'm wearing headphones. I'm actually doing something."

Of course, there is a price to be paid. Researchers have long said that the quality of our human interactions, even small ones, can make a big difference in our moods and ultimately our health. And clearly, a distracted employee is less likely to be proactive at work, or even to notice when something is going wrong.

In answer to this dilemma, many people vow they're going to turn off their cell phones or BlackBerrys and put away their iPods. I say, don't. What's needed is practice, not avoidance. In the early days of computers, offices found themselves dealing with oodles of wasted hours as employees surfed porn sites, gambled, played games or just goofed off. But computers were here to stay, so the companies studied the problem and set standards of allowable and non-allowable use. Over time, wasteful computing time has greatly declined.

We need to do the same thing with these little worlds we carry around. One main hint: If, like the man getting his cornrows done, you feel the other person's digital connection is getting in the way, say so. Many people don't -- again, trying to be polite. But politic censure is the only way societal rules get written. And you'd be surprised at the difference it makes.

Last week, rushing to the office, I had a long chat with my cabbie. "Thank you for sharing that story with me," he said. "It makes me feel good." It was the best thing that happened all day, and when my phone rang -- the boss -- the etiquette to follow was clear.

I didn't answer.

Author's e-mail:

fernandezs@washpost.com

Sandy Fernandez is a Post editor and recovering BlackBerry abuser.

It might seem as if there are no frontiers left to cross in the digitizing of America. But you'd be surprised.