On Cheapskates and 'Scams'

Ex-Restaurateur: I Just Couldn't Take It Anymore

After 25 years in the restaurant business, I have broken up with the dining public. Ours was a dish-functional relationship that had run its courses. We had a good run, but like a stock that had been left on a burner too long, my love for the restaurant business had simply evaporated, and it was time to move on.

The public and I had issues. We communicated poorly. When diners said they needed their space, they meant the tables were placed too closely together. When I said I needed my space, it meant I wanted their table back. The public was not committed to our relationship; diners routinely made dates with me and then either showed up late or not at all, often without so much as a phone call. They grew suspicious of me and talked about me online.

It's not that I didn't have a passion for cooking; I cashed out a tony degree from Georgetown University for a $6-an-hour job as a line cook. Ten years later, I owned a restaurant.

Don't get me wrong; the demise of my relationship with the public was as much my fault as the public's. My cooking got a little sloppy, and sometimes dinner wasn't ready on time. I said I was sorry and even gave things away for free, but diners felt they deserved more. My marriage with the public was on the rocks.

The plain fact is that diners do not carry their weight in the diner-restaurateur relationship. My own shortcomings aside, restaurateurs everywhere face this problem.

Upon the waters of the Internet, diners cast aspersions on restaurants perpetuating "scams" on the unsuspecting public and then feed on those "revelations" like sharks.

The convivial atmosphere of restaurants induces the public to relax the standard of good manners and responsibility that it maintains in other professional settings. The boundaries between customers and service staff are less definite in restaurants than in other businesses. Some diners treat servers as pals; others treat them as servants.

Servers are professionals whose primary duties are to promote and sell a restaurant's products: food and beverages. Many diners mistake salesmanship for trickery and treat wait staff with suspicion. I'll never understand why diners would think a restaurateur or members of the staff would want to deceive the very people who keep them in business.

The following is a list of "scams" that in reality are not scams at all:

· The Bottled Water Scam: When a server asks, "Would you like sparkling, still or ice water?" the server is not trying to pad the bill with a sneaky sale but is merely offering the guest a choice. Bottled water is not free in restaurants any more than it is in sandwich shops or gyms.

· The "Call Brand" Scam: In restaurants, as in liquor stores, Grey Goose Vodka costs more than Kamchatka Vodka. A server who asks which brand of vodka a guest prefers rather than if the guest prefers a particular brand is a good salesman, not a con artist.

· The "Make Them Wait at the Bar" Scam: To maximize profit, a restaurateur wants diners to come and go as quickly as possible, but the greater priority is to serve people well. That's why, at busy times, even if a table is available, new arrivals might be sent to the lounge to avoid overwhelming the kitchen and service staff. More often than not, the owner offers the first round of drinks on the house, preferring to eat the cost rather than risk bad service. The restaurant is not trying to "make its money on the booze." More than 60 percent of restaurant sales is food, not alcohol; restaurateurs make their money from volume.