Big Hardware Chains, Small How-to Clinics
By Jeff Turrentine
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, September 1, 2005
Plato's students didn't have desks or notepads or pencils. They just stood amid a grove of sacred Athenian olive trees and listened while their professor paced and lectured off the top of his head on matters philosophical.
He'd be happy to know that the legacy of the ancient academy has been lovingly preserved at two of the most sacred repositories of the American do-it-yourself ethos: Lowe's and Home Depot.
Well, at least the "standing around" part of that legacy. For several years now, both home improvement/hardware chains have offered a variety of free how-to clinics, informal classes taught by employees and held in the store aisles. There aren't always chairs for aching feet, but if you don't mind shifting your weight from leg to leg every now and then for 45 minutes, you can actually learn something useful.
On a recent Saturday, Barbara Bleything was holding forth, Plato-like, in the paint department of the Lowe's on Route 1 in Laurel in front of a small group. In place of a sacred olive grove, she was surrounded by stacked cans of flat, eggshell and semigloss paint. Her blackboard was a giant chunk of drywall. The questions were earnest, and maybe even a little desperate.
"What is priming?" asked a grandmother who said she was hoping to help her granddaughter paint a bedroom.
"The purpose of priming is to . . . ." began Bleything, before the grandmother interrupted.
"No, no, no: What is priming? What does it look like?"
Bleything handled that one and all other questions with grace and aplomb, leading her class through the rudiments of painting interiors: choosing the right finish, applying spackling to nail holes, selecting a quality painter's tape. There were brief forays into chemistry: "Acrylic paint is still water-based; the acrylic is just what binds the molecules together." Insider tips were shared: "If you want to use the same paint roller over two days and don't want to rinse it out in between, just wrap it tightly in plastic wrap and stick it in the freezer overnight. It'll be fine to use the next morning."
Clinic schedules are standardized and updated every month, which means -- theoretically -- that you can take the optimistically titled "You Can Install Vinyl Replacement Windows" class whether you live in Maryland, Texas or California, so long as you show up at your local Home Depot on any Tuesday in September at 7 p.m.
Why "theoretically?" Despite assurances on the Home Depot Web site that "[t]here's no need to pre-register -- simply check the schedule below and show up at the Home Depot nearest you for the clinic of your choice," not all stores hew to the corporate game plan. Phone calls to area Home Depots last week revealed that the stores in Hyattsville, Laurel, Gaithersburg, College Park, Aspen Hill and Capitol Heights would not be holding the scheduled Thursday night class. Only the ones in Washington, Falls Church and Silver Spring affirmed that they would.
"It is Home Depot's position that all of our stores are to execute the clinics in their entirety," said Gary White, a vice president of operations for the Atlanta-based-Home Depot, when apprised that some within the operation were denying Marylanders their opportunity to "Create Storage and Organization Solutions."
"Our practice and policy is that every store executes the clinics flawlessly," White said.
So it's probably best to call first. But assuming you get the green light, expect to find clinics that cover the full spectrum of home repair and DIY. In September, classes are devoted to installing vinyl replacement windows, laying ceramic tile, switching to low-voltage lighting, faux painting (one of the most "fun and energizing" clinics, according to White), updating bathroom cabinets and fixtures, and saving money on energy bills. The full schedule can be found at http://www.homedepotclinics.com .
Lowe's holds half as many clinics as does Home Depot, but the stores wisely schedule all three of them back-to-back on Saturday between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. -- their busiest window during their busiest day of the week. Lowe's classes are usually well-attended, though according to Vice President of Consumer Marketing Tom Lamb, "we hold the clinic even if only one customer shows up. There's nothing more disappointing for the customer than to show up at the store and find out that the clinic has been cancelled."
Like its chief competitor, Lowe's creates a monthly clinic schedule (viewable at http://www.lowes.com/ ) at its corporate headquarters and then distributes it to stores across the country. Managers at those stores then select members of various departments to conduct the clinics, based on their particular expertise -- as well as their ability to interact well with customers.
"Not only do they need to have all the technical skills, in order to be able to answer questions about specifics, but they also have to be really outgoing and to enjoy being in that forum," said Lamb. He added that Lowe's puts its instructors through a departmental certification program before they can conduct clinics and makes them complete a self-audit after every course.
Over in the Lowe's Flooring department, Darryl Himmond dolloped thick cement onto a strip of backerboard while a gallery of hopefuls watched intently. As he instructed them in the art of laying ceramic tile, he punctuated his discourse with anecdotes about having once worked with a group of Italian tilers -- "and they're the best in the world. The Italians have been doing it for thousands of years."
Eyes widened as he invited all in attendance to affix a few practice tiles to the sea of gray goop before them. This is what they had been waiting for.
Philosophy will only take you so far in this world. Learn how to handle quick-drying cement, on the other hand, and you're halfway to a new bathroom wall. Now that's an education.