Giving Inspired by Grief

Nothing stopped the disease from progressing. At 5:30 a.m. on Oct. 8, 2002, with her husband and family at her side, Ashley died.

Although it was the end of her life, it wasn't the end of Ashley's story. Brian's co-workers suggested that he set up a nonprofit to raise money for other melanoma sufferers. Shortly thereafter, the Ashley Fister Cole Foundation was born.

One evening last month, Ashley's mother, Judith Fister, her brother Geordy Fister and a friend she met at a cancer support group, Sarah Gannett, got together at Brian's house to sort through T-shirts for the foundation's upcoming golf tournament.

Brian hauled several boxes of shirts out of the basement and the group counted and sorted them by size. Each bore the Ashley Fister Cole Foundation's logo, designed by friends, which included Ashley's favorite flower, the gerbera daisy.

The previous week, 10 people had sat on Brian's deck to stuff 1,000 envelopes with fliers about the tournament at Bristow Manor Golf Club in Prince William County.

Brian came up with the tournament name, the Driving for Surviving Melanoma Charity Golf Classic. Last year's event raised $17,000, which went to melanoma researcher Wen-Jen Hwu at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, who treated Ashley for a while at Sloan-Kettering.

Donated items will be raffled off or sold at an auction, and area businesses and individuals are sponsoring holes.

The foundation recently hosted its third annual Morning at the Movies. The showing of "Madagascar," at the Lee Highway Multiplex in Merrifield, raised more than $4,000. The money finances a monthly melanoma support group at Inova Fairfax Hospital.

Judith Fister said her work with the foundation has helped her handle her grief, but it hasn't eased it.

"It's been great to be able to rechannel some of the negative energy," Fister said. However, she added, "I found it hard to turn something so terrible into a positive, because it's never going to be positive."

Friends and family say that Brian, who works at the College Board offices in Reston, labors tirelessly on the foundation -- designing brochures, producing the twice-yearly newsletter and soliciting donations of food, gifts and cash for the events.

"Every time he goes into a restaurant, he hits up the manager for a gift certificate," said Sarah Gannett.

"You gotta ask," Brian said. "You never know what will happen."

For more information:

· The Ashley Fister Cole Foundation,http://www.ashleyfistercolefoundation.org, 703-323-4683.

· The Pam McDonald Fund,http://www.pammcdonaldfund.com. For more information about Saturday's tournament, call Mary Doherty at 301-493-5454 or Matt Blocher at 202-333-4274.

· Cole's Closet,http://www.colescloset.org.