Men in Land of Samurai Find Their Feminine Side

Japanese marketers say they have learned one thing: Soft men sell. In a new commercial here for skin care, Shido Nakamura, a 33-year-old married actor and father-to-be, grasps a white calla lily as the scene fades to him glancing at himself coyly in a bathroom mirror, gently applying lotion under soft lighting. Members of the best-selling boy band SMAP, who sometimes don women's clothes for TV shows, star in a cooking program where they invite famous guests like Koizumi and Shinzo Abe, the nationalistic acting secretary general of the Liberal Democratic Party, to taste their home-cooked delicacies. The group now has a best-selling recipe book.

"Waterboys" -- a film about a real-life high school in the Tokyo suburbs where male athletes formed the nation's first men's synchronized swimming team -- became a smash hit in 2001. Since then, male synchronized swimming has become a national sporting event in Japan, with scores of high school boys across the country now going toe-to-toe in an annual competition.

A poll by Shiseido, the Tokyo-based cosmetics giant, found that more than half of Japanese men in their twenties and thirties said it was important to be "gentle" while only a third said the same of being "intelligent." Perhaps most inexplicably, male thugs in the yakuza -- or Japanese mafia -- are now known to wear pink women's sandals and floral-patterned shirts while prowling the streets late at night.

Nagami Kishi, 60, head of the Research Institute for People and Corporations, who has lectured on the feminization of Japanese men, insists the movement is tied to a generation of absent fathers who "abandoned" their sons in a woman's world of mothers, sisters and aunts to spend all their time at work during Japan's post-World War II economic miracle. "When I was young, we were trained not to cry, but nowadays, men in their twenties freely express their emotions and cry even in front of women," Kishi said. "Young Japanese men are gentle, shy and sensitive; they've turned into a bunch of . . . mama's boys."

Yet Japanese men are softening at least in part, analysts say, because that's what Japanese women want. With record numbers of women here financially independent for the first time, the dating game has become a buyer's market for single women -- who, polls show, prefer men who are gentle and squeaky clean.

Kariyazaki, the celebrity florist, credits the changing definitions of masculinity for national acceptance of him and a number of other openly gay performers. Unlike in the United States, where gay entertainers still have problems receiving endorsements from large companies, Kariyazaki is a spokesman for some of Japan's platinum brand names, including All Nippon Airways and Mitsukoshi department stores.

"We have become more sophisticated about how we define masculinity," Kariyazaki said.

Preparations for his exhibition in this seaside city were a snapshot of Japan's changing gender roles. Kariyazaki directed a staff of mostly female assistants in tool belts as they lugged around heavy materials at the local Mitsukoshi. Famously temperamental when he works, Kariyazaki barked orders like a drill sergeant. One of his exhibits was a re-creation of his living room, including gilded rococo-edged sofas and floral Queen Anne chairs.

His demeanor changed when he greeted his adoring admirers. He lavished good wishes on fans who ranged from kindergartners to grandmas. They were equally effusive about him.

"Mr. Kariyazaki is amazing. You can see the power of masculinity in his work, but also the delicacy of his feminine side," said Yoshifumi Sasaki, 53, a construction company owner with a salt-and-pepper bouffant and a clutch handbag who attended the exhibition with his 47-year-old wife. "I think it's wonderful. The best of both worlds."