If Democracy Fails, Try Civil War

· "Paula, the federal government did not even know about the convention center people until today."

"See? It's hard to tell them apart," the official said.

3. "Commissioner of the National Hockey League. At least if he fails no one will notice." -- John Batey , a college professor from Indianapolis. Also submitted by prior winner Howard Cohen of North Hills, Calif.

4. "Coordinator of cookie sales for the Girl Scouts. Brownie is a natural for cookies. And it is so beautifully organized there's no risk on either side." -- Carl Clavadetscher , a professor at the National Defense University at Fort McNair.

5. "He can bumble into FedEx commercials with the tag line: 'See what Brown can do for you.' " -- Penney Kolb , a hand-knitting designer from Ewing, N.J.

6. "Write a book called 'Brownie Points: Making the Right Kind of Friends to Line Up a Cushy Government Job.' " -- Sharon M. Lucas , a project data specialist at Penn State University in University Park, Pa.

7. "Whatever his next job, the one after that is when he writes: ' Yes, You CAN Work in This Town Again!' with inspirational chapters by Bob Livingston, Newt Gingrich, Bill Clinton and Jack Abramoff and an afterword by Joe Gibbs." -- Matt Hussman , a public space manager for the Downtown Business Improvement District in Washington.

8. "Chief of staff for Sen. Joe Biden. They could compare résumé horror stories." -- Matt Fay of Arlington.

9. "Director of emergency escalator operations for WMATA." -- Larry Sternbane , an airline schedule planning analyst from Rockville.

10. "Comcast's director of Cable Installation Scheduling." -- Charles Pinck , a senior vice president at Global Options in the District.

11. "With actor Bob Denver's recent death," Brown could play the hapless Gilligan "in a possible Comedy Central revival of the old TV sitcom 'Gilligan's Island.' " -- Dave Alberswerth , senior policy director at the Wilderness Society.

12. "Chairman of the Committee to Re-elect Blanco-Nagin." -- Jim Custer , a health specialist in Friedens, Pa.