If Democracy Fails, Try Civil War

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13. "Any motor vehicle department in any state," or the "IRS telephone help line." -- tech business owner Kathleen Flynn Barron of Tigard, Ore.

14. "Microsoft's help line." -- Charles K. Manka of Alexandria, a physicist and support contractor at the Naval Research Laboratory in the District.

15. "Whatever he does, I'd like him to go through the Witness Protection Program and get a new name." -- Michael E. Brown of Washington.

And there were a couple of "special" winners:

Charles Bouy of Baton Rouge, La., said: "Kamen, you are a contemptible fat [deleted]. You should be fired for your despicable distortions of the truth." Fat? And he picked an XXXL T-shirt?

And one Michael Valmas says: "You've been doing this column WAY too long."

Well, that's for sure.

Thanks to our judges, Washington Post polling director Richard Morin and Style reporter Paul Farhi , and National News aide Tina Alva . And thanks to all for playing.

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