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TELL ME ABOUT IT ®

(Nick Galifianakis For The Washington Post)

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What if your mother-in-law keeps mentioning your husband's ex in conversation? For example, we're off to a nice restaurant for dinner; MIL sighs, "Kelly used to LOVE this restaurant." What then?

Massachusetts

It may mean she preferred Kelly.

It may mean she likes you fine but misses Kelly.

It may mean she's jealous and insecure and pulled this same sorry act on Kelly, too, by sighing about the ex who preceded her.

It definitely means your MIL lacks the maturity and/or social grace to keep her mouth shut.

Which presents you with a choice among:

1.) Stooping to fight back;

2.) Ignoring her;

3.) Pulling her aside to say, "This must be hard for you; I can see how much you liked Kelly." And mean it.

4.) Expecting little of her.

The chef recommends 2 or 3, with a side of 4.

Write to Tell Me About It, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, ortellme@washpost.com, and join Carolyn's live discussion at noon Fridays athttp://www.washingtonpost.com/liveonline.

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