From the Oval Office To the Doghouse

Wieners wouldn't mind giving this one a try.

"I'd say we've got two different cultures, two different worlds," she says. "The focus would be to really understand the other person. You'd take turns really listening."

Listening would also mean a new way of speaking, too. Learning how to use "I language," for example, and not "you language."

"You language," says Wiener, "is very judgmental."

For example, you say, "When I heard this I felt betrayed, and I felt betrayed because. . . ." Without accusing.

It's all a matter of "mirroring" each other and validation, Wieners says. "I'd ask him to imagine looking out of Mr. Limbaugh's eyes. You don't have to agree. . . . But you can imagine how he feels."

"They could do it. They might say, 'I can't do that' . . . but they could," she says. "It would be fun."

The president needs to practice patience right now, too, she says.

"He would be the one who had to do a lot of the listening. The one that's betrayed really needs to talk and say what he or she is feeling."

The administration and Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman have certainly done a lot of listening recently, including several face-to-face meetings and a major conference call Thursday with conservative activists.

Audrey Chapman, another Washington relationship counselor, had just finished with a couple the other day who she said reminded her of this week's drama.

She said the woman "was talking about her feelings of betrayal, so one of the things I was trying to understand was . . . what's the story they have in their head about the betrayal."

She said she asked the man "did he realize when he made that decision, when he behaved in that way, did he understand the impact on her. . . . He said that he hadn't had a clue."

Chapman, who is also a psychologist, author and radio show host, happens to be a bit of a political junkie, too.

"It isn't just around the Supreme Court decisions that people have lost trust in George Bush," she says.

"The way you reestablish trust is you have to be more transparent. That's key. . . . At the press conference, he was still being very guarded around some of the questions. . . . He needs to give a little bit more. . . . I know some things have to be confidential, but he's got to be a little more giving, a little bit more willing to give the public a little more to chew on."

All this talk about counseling and relationships isn't sitting well with Kristol.

"I think it's not about Bush and me and Bush and other conservatives," he says. "It's not about relationships. . . . It's about the Supreme Court of the United States."

Paul M. Weyrich of the Free Congress Foundation, who hosted one of this week's meetings where conservatives spoke to Bush emissaries about their frustrations, is not much into the whole relationship thing, either, he says. But he's not in denial about the fact that there are problems in Bushland.

"Breach of trust implies something different than what I think happened here. . . . I really think that people had one expectation and got something different and were so shocked by it that a lot of them reacted very negatively."

Will it all work out? Do they need a session with Wieners or Chapman? That depends on Miers, he says.

"If she is overwhelmingly confirmed, then I imagine that most of us will just say, okay, fine, let's move on. If, on the other hand she does not do well in the hearings and would have to be withdrawn, there would be great bitterness, I think. . . . I think it would affect the long-term relationship."

Wieners's and Chapman's doors are always open.

Plus, says Wieners, in February, Imago followers are having a big Valentine's Day celebration. She adds, "Maybe we can get some of the political people to come."