Wait, There's More
Sunday, October 23, 2005
On this, our lucky day, Kevin Trudeau is introducing us to his personal electromagnetic chaos eliminator.
Trudeau, who has sold millions of books by touting the curative properties of things such as magnetic toe rings and crocodile protein peptide, believes the sole thing keeping his brain from being "microwaved from the inside out" by cell phones and radio waves is this electromagnetic whatever. We are intrigued.
"Would you like to see this magical device?"
Boy, would we!
On a publicity tour in the suite of a midtown hotel room, Trudeau unbuttons his fine white dress shirt.
This seems like a good time to note how extremely well-dressed Kevin Trudeau is, in the fine tradition of TV salesmen and televangelists. Over the dress shirt is a butter-colored tie that precisely matches the pocket square tucked into his luxury Brioni suit. He wears alligator shoes. On his left wrist is a Rolex Masterpiece dripping with diamonds, and on his right ring finger is a rock so big a child could choke on it.
Over the years, Trudeau, an ex-con who never went to college or medical school, has been remarkably successful doing infomercials for everything from how to achieve a photographic memory to how to cure your addictions to how to beat cancer by ingesting a particular type of calcium that, as fate would have it, he also happened to sell.
Now he sells the most popular nonfiction book in the country, according to Publishers Weekly. In "Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About," Trudeau explains how a massive cabal formed of the federal government, pharmaceutical companies and the media is keeping Americans from living well past 100. He advises everybody to get off prescription drugs, even if they have serious problems like diabetes or blood clots; he reveals how multiple sclerosis can be cured by magnetic mattress pads.
He says sunscreen doesn't prevent skin cancer. Instead (wait for it), sunscreen causes skin cancer.
But back to the microwaved-brain problem. Trudeau parts his shirt and reveals a necklace with a disk of metal hanging on it. Glory of glories! So flimsy, yet so powerful. This is the vaunted electromagnetic chaos eliminator. It is called a Q-Link, and for a while lots of celebrities were supposedly into it, before they joined the Kabbalah bracelet craze.
Beneath the Q-Link is another necklace with a black triangle pendant. This is yet another electromagnetic chaos eliminator, and we stop Trudeau as he's closing his shirt and ask him about it. Trudeau says he's not sure exactly what it's made of or what it does; supposedly it offers some sort of balancing "vibration." He's just trying it out to see if it works, he says, sounding a little sheepish.