Rhapsodies in Blue
Sunday, November 6, 2005
We've noticed a disturbing trend: Washington political wonks who try to pen steamy encounters. The latest Henry Miller manque is Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.), who includes a little sexual congress in her novel about a feisty female senator. We dove into Boxer's novel to compare her panting prose with that of other Washington politicos, and rated them on a scale of one to four vibrating cell phones. (Warning: adult content ahead!)
"A Time to Run" by Barbara Boxer , Chronicle Books, 2005: It was as if they'd never been apart. Their bodies remembered and anticipated each nuance of touch and feeling.
Greg ran his hand lightly over the contours of her body and curved his fingers to mold her hip. "We're so good together."
"I know," she said.
Rating: TWO CELL PHONES
"The Apprentice" by I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Thomas Dunne Books, 2001: He stretched to touch her with his fingertips, and as he did she slid one leg over him and kissed his ear. Her breath there was warm and moist and then she licked the inside of his ear. He was startled. He had never been touched like that before. The feeling at first was good, but then it was wet and cold and unpleasant.
Rating: TWO AND A HALF
"Sisters" by Lynne Cheney , Signet, 1981: "You should straighten up your hair before you let your cowhands see you." She had reached up and mussed it further.
"And you should fasten your robe before you let anyone see you." He reached down as if to tie it shut, but slipped his hand inside instead, inside her unbuttoned nightgown too. . . . She was smiling, but she found it difficult to speak. Once more she felt all her blood and breath being pulled downward.
"The Hornet's Nest" by Jimmy Carter, Simon & Schuster, 2003: Mavis felt his eyes on her and moved nearer him. He was overwhelmed with a feeling of tenderness, and was also aroused sexually, which his tight trousers made obvious to both of them. Mavis was not naturally shy, and she looked up into his eyes without attempting to conceal her desire.