The Wrath of Pat Smites Dover, Pa.

By Art Buchwald
Thursday, November 17, 2005

How many of you have heard of Dover, Pa.? I hadn't until televangelist Pat Robertson declared that God has left Dover because it rejected the teaching of "intelligent design" in its public schools.

In case you're wondering, Dover is just down the road from Weigelstown and 50 miles from Lancaster. According to its last census, it has 902 men and 913 women. The median income is $45,250 a year.

I give you these facts because, no matter how small a town is, Robertson claims he can bring down the wrath of God on it.

These are his own words after Dover defeated the teaching of intelligent design in its schools: "I would like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city."

Later on he said, "God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever. If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."

This is not the first time Robertson has gotten embroiled in controversy. Last summer he called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

He also blamed the tornados in Kansas and Oklahoma on God's wrath. In 1998, he warned Florida that it would suffer hurricanes if it didn't reject homosexuality.

What to make of all this?

One theory getting a lot of play in my circle of friends is that recent natural catastrophes are occurring because Pat Robertson really is God.

Intelligent design teaches that the universe was created by a higher power, responsible for the people who live in it.

We call this superpower God because we have to call it something.

The theory is accepted by those who believe in the Bible. The world was created in six days, Adam and Eve were the first human beings and could have stayed in the Garden of Eden forever if Eve hadn't been talked into eating a forbidden apple by a snake.

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