CBS will win the November ratings sweep, which wraps tonight, by about 3 million viewers because the other broadcast networks barely put up a fight, though they did cancel a lot of shows last week.
Here's a look at last week's gravy and turkeys:
WINNERS
"Silver Bells." Treacly CBS holiday flick starring former Ellen DeGeneres partner Anne Heche as widow who takes in runaway teenager and then gets tangled with his Christmas-tree-dealer father -- ho, ick, ho -- copped more than 16 million viewers, which, although underwhelming, still makes it the most watched movie this season.
"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving." Yet another reason to cancel "Alias": One week after the chick actioner logged 6.6 million for ABC on Thursday at 8 p.m., this aged animated classic, competing against the strongest "Survivor" episode of the season, snared nearly 9 million viewers in the same slot -- about 1 million more than it bagged last year.
"Medium." Exhuming Rod Serling to introduce an episode that featured 3-D bits -- which looked really lousy if you didn't have the glasses -- helped the show to its biggest audience this season -- 13.4 million viewers, compared with the previous week's 12.5 million.
"Survivor: Guatemala." Thanks to "exciting" Dallas-Denver football game overrun, "Survivor" enjoyed its most watched episode of the season on Thanksgiving night. Bet CBS now wishes it had not "specialed out" the episode.
"Close to Home." In its second week on Friday following Jennifer Love Hewitt chatting with dead folks, Jerry Bruckheimer's crime-in-the-burbs drama posted its biggest audience so far -- just under 12 million viewers.
"Law & Order: SVU." Largest audience since May '04, with Annie Potts and Judith Light guest starring.
"Desperate Housewives." The most watched show of the week for the first time this season -- not because skanky pharmacist George met his maker, though that was fun -- but because Thanksgiving falls on "CSI's" Thursday instead of "DH's" Sunday.
