For Every Face of the 'Big, Bad Boss,' an Experience to Match

It appears you do know the type all too well. All 13 of them.

Judging from the e-mails I received in response to my last column, a review of Marilyn Haight's book "Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad Boss?" really bad bosses are nowhere near as rare as they should be. Haight's book identifies 13 types of no-good bosses and offers advice on how to handle them. It seems y'all have worked for every one of them.

Here are a few of the stories you shared with me:

Linda, a Maryland woman who, like all of the people who wrote me, spoke on condition that her last name not be used, said at first she loved her job at an agency that provides health care to the mentally ill. She felt everything was going well for three months, until she was asked to help fire one of her employees without a good reason. "I was questioned, badgered, and cajoled into providing proof for this firing," she wrote in an e-mail.

It turned out, her new boss was a Bully, one of Haight's big, bad boss types.

And she didn't get much backup from her equally scared colleagues. "My co-workers who were aware of how I was treated lived in fear of losing their own jobs," she said. Instead, they were silent or they just left.

In retrospect, Linda wishes she had left sooner. "Get out when the situation feels unethical and you are mistreated. Don't wait for things to improve, especially when the 'tyrant' has backup and has been acting like this for years. . . . This experience has demoralized me beyond words and has caused me to be extremely cautious before undertaking another position. I encourage others to research your boss/agency/company before accepting a position. Take your time, and ask many questions. This can happen to anyone, at any age."

Christine, who still works for her evil boss, said her experience with a Bully has driven her to reconsider her career choice. She said her boss curses constantly, uses racial slurs and puts down the women in the office. "He belittles all of his employees, talks behind their backs, likes no one and makes it vocal to anyone that will listen," she wrote.

He's also a hypocrite, she said. "He is a stickler for rules: one hour lunch, very limited amounts of leave approved, but openly takes two different lunch breaks a day and recently went on a vacation and took 40 hours of sick leave.

"If he would stop yelling at people long enough, he would perhaps see that he has a good group of people around him," she said. But that assumes that he wants to see that. Not all people do.

Kathy, a D.C. woman who also still works for her bad boss, said her supervisor is all of the bosses Haight describes rolled into one person. And he certainly seems to be. His favorite saying, she said, is "I'm a control freak. . . . I have to oversee everything."

She said, "Another ploy is to give a direction and then, not 20 minutes later, give an opposing directive. This keeps employees confused." Classic Confounder behavior, according to Haight's system.