Unbalanced on Bar Mitzvahs

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Is the Dec. 13 Style article "13 and Counting" your paper's idea of parity and balanced reporting? How peculiar that during America's annual, month-long overindulgence in Christmas, The Post found nothing to feature other than the excessiveness of some bat and bar mitzvah celebrations. Like most Sweet 16, Quinceaera or other coming-of-age parties, most bat and bar mitzvahs, especially those outside the New York City area, are far less extravagant.

Such articles do nothing to break down stereotypes of Jews, who historically have been ridiculed for their associations with money. In a Christian-dominated nation currently engaged in its yearly Christmas frenzy of buying (which leaves many in debt come January), why run such an article?

-- Rachel Carren

Chevy Chase

I was ashamed to be Jewish when I read of the gaudiness and potlatch attitude described in your article on expensive and elaborate bat and bar mitzvahs. Not only does the article contribute to the misconception that most Jews are wealthy, it also furthers the view that Jewish children, especially "Jewish American Princesses," deserve the indulgences and extravagances that their parents so foolishly dole out.

As with the excessive commercialization of Christmas, the true meaning of maturation and self-reflection in the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony gets lost amid the often tasteless displays. Keeping up with "the Jonesteins" never looked worse.

-- David Sherer

Chevy Chase

To say that I was appalled by your piece on New York bar and bat mitzvahs is an understatement. It presented a scene of vulgarity, ostentation and excess that displayed little understanding of the true significance of a meaningful and cherished religious event in a Jewish child's life. The writer seemed to enjoy the level of this performance, and his writing style reflected the sleaziness that is often found in your Style pages.

What is a journalist's role if not to look beyond a single extravaganza and explore other interpretations of bar mitzvah? I have attended a number of bat and bar mitzvahs in Manhattan that were tasteful, modest and deeply spiritual. Why didn't your reporter seek out these and present a balanced picture?

-- Joan Lipnick

Bethesda

I don't understand why Style chooses to print articles such as "13 and Counting," which described events that are not typical of the norms of a minority community and which can't help but reflect badly on the group. Your readers might be interested to know what my 12-year-old granddaughter Elana did for her bat mitzvah in June:

She studied the Book of Psalms for a year with her mother and wrote a lovely explanation of what she had learned, which she delivered to 35 of her classmates at a party at her home.

She selected several themes from Psalms -- the unity of the Jewish people and their responsibility for each other -- and asked me to devise a one-hour paper-cutting class for her 35 friends.

She received some memorable gifts -- a pair of antique brass candlesticks that had been lit by the women in our family for more than 125 years, a pair of earrings made for her from cufflinks owned by her deceased great-grandfather, whom she had the privilege of knowing, and a locket given by that gentleman to his future wife, Elana's 96-year-old great-grandmother.

She donated 10 percent of all the monetary gifts she received to charities that she researched and chose herself.

Now there is a story worth telling.

-- Naomi Hordes

Silver Spring