PERFORMING ARTS

'A John Waters Christmas'

It may surprise you that John Waters, Baltimore's resident freak, has a quite jolly, relatively non- twisted attitude about Christmas. Last year, the filmmaker released a compilation of his favorite songs of the season, such as Alvin & the Chipmunks' "Sleigh Ride" and Tiny Tim's "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," in a compilation called "A John Waters Christmas." But in the variety show of the same name that Waters brought to the 9:30 club Thursday, he clarified that, for him, goodwill-toward-men isn't all-inclusive.

"I want drugs for Christmas," Waters told the sparse crowd. "But not the kind that you guys are thinking of. I don't want, like, ecstasy. Something that makes you love everybody? Sounds like hell to me."

For 45 minutes, plus a 20-minute Q&A, Waters talked about topics including an oil painting of Don Knotts and why books make the best presents. The entertainment value of Waters's spiel depended on one's perspective: It was rather amusing as a chat, but sometimes tomato-worthy as stand-up. (Note to budding comics: "Womb-raiding" is a subject to avoid no matter how fringe-loving your audience.)

The evening kicked off with performances by dancer Trixie Little and tough-to-categorize entertainers Evil Hate Monkey and Lobsterboy. Like an R-rated version of a particularly hapless school play, the act included Hula-Hooping, a few impressive acrobatics, cheery if unsexy burlesque and the worst jokes ever, told by one very angry lobster.

In other words, it was great.

-- Tricia Olszewski

Master Chorale of Washington

Although critics often yearn for musical novelty of any kind in the bleakness of winter, one must admit that the Christmas chestnuts sung by the Master Chorale of Washington during the second half of its program Wednesday at the Kennedy Center Concert Hall were much more satisfying than the unfamiliar pieces presented before intermission.

During both halves of the Christmas Candlelight Concert, Music Director Donald McCullough led the Master Chorale in some splendid singing: precise, beautifully blended and full of feeling. The group gave fine accounts of the tricky harmonies and antiphonal effects of Javier Busto's "Ave Maris Stella" and Gyorgy Orban's "Ave Maria" -- too bad both pieces had a wanly meditative atmosphere and little to remember. Randol Bass's "Gloria" lacked nothing for assertiveness, but its barrage of brass fanfares battered the ear and occasionally drowned out the large chorale.

Highlights among the well-known carols included spirited accounts of "Here We Come A-Wassailing" and "The Little Drummer Boy," and intense and reverent renditions of "Silent Night," "The First Noel," and "Angels We Have Heard on High" during the candlelit recessional. It said a lot for the newer carols featured after intermission -- Jane Marshall's hushed "Christmas Question" and McCullough's "Once in Bethlehem" -- that they did not feel out of place in this exalted company.

-- Andrew Lindemann Malone