I'd Love to Drive, but Not on These Roads

By Tony Kornheiser
Sunday, December 25, 2005

Before I go any further, I know what you want me to say:


No. I can't.

Of course you can, Tony. What more do you need to see? You said it yourself four weeks ago that the Redskins would run the table. Wilbon scoffed. He's not scoffing now. You had this wired. They're going to the playoffs and then the Super Bowl. Okay, you don't fly. So lucky you, the game is in Detroit. You can drive there in nine hours! Gas it up. Bring it out.


How can you be such a scaredy-cat girlie-man?

Because I remember what a great team looks like, and this is not a great team yet. It's gone quickly from average to very good in the last two weeks. But great teams beat good teams on the road. Who have the Redskins beaten on the road? The road is where the Redskins will be for the playoffs. (Playoffs!!! After 5-6!!!) So let's breathe deeply, calm down and assess the situation.

Here's what we're sure of after the Giants game: 1) Jeremy Shockey is an impossible prima donna whose refusal to play the game WHILE IT WAS GOING ON because he was waiting for an interference call that never came cost his team one touchdown and probably the game. What a yo-yo. 2) Will Allen can't cover Santana Moss no matter who's quarterbacking. Mark Brunell threw him one touchdown while Allen seemingly did pirouettes and Eddie Ramsey threw him one. If the game had lasted long enough, Jason Campbell would have thrown Moss one. (It's not Eddie? Are you sure? As long as we're on the subject of being sure, are you sure Brunell's knee will be all right for Philly? Not that I don't have complete faith in Eddie, of course.) I don't know what Will Allen was doing out there, but it wasn't defending. Will Ferrell could have done a better job on Moss. 3) If you let Clinton Portis get to the corner, he's going to turn it and leave you grabbing air. Portis has been so good in December I don't care what costume he wears from now on. He can show up as Sidney Ponson on a JetSki in Aruba, and it's okay with me. 4) Eli ain't Peyton.

And 5) No Bandwagon.


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