DNA Is Only One Way to Spell Identity

Most of all, though, the young man's story resonated with the way I am trying to raise my own family. My three children -- ages 8, 12 and 13 -- are growing up with a black father and a white mother who speak openly about race, but don't stress the need for them to decide which side of the black-white divide they have to live on. We don't deny that race is part of our social reality, as I believe it is for most Americans. But rather than dwell on racial differences, our family emphasizes the values both sides have in common.

I'm sure my grandparents tried to transcend race, but they were constantly getting caught in the tangled web of black-white divisions that dominated the culture and laws of the American South. Those same divisions live on today in both North and South and continue to influence the world we live in. But in my family, we're struggling not to repeat the missteps of the racially divided past. In our small way, we're trying to forge a new interracial future. It's still off on the horizon, but it feels within our reach. So I've resolved to keep my children moving toward a mindset that has race on the periphery rather than at the center of their identity.

I know it's what my grandparents would have wanted.

Author's e-mail:

wreubanks@starpower.net

W. Ralph Eubanks, the Washington-based author of "Ever Is a Long Time: A Journey Into Mississippi's Dark Past" (Basic Books), is currently at work on a book about race and identity.