Ciara Hears the Snore of the Crowd at MCI

Ciara, shown in New York earlier this month, was mismatched with her MCI Center audience Thursday. (By Brad Barket -- Getty Images)

If you spent more than 15 minutes on a dance floor in 2005, you've heard Ciara's "Oh," a lethal tune on which the 20-year-old dusts her breathy vocals over a heaving, grinding crunk track. It's the closest R&B has come to resembling sludge metal, and it's helped Ciara snag a Grammy nomination for best new artist.

So why did "Oh," along with the rest of her hits, tank during a performance at MCI Center on Thursday? Because Ciara is the only girl performing on the "Holladay Jam" tour, the latest R&B heartthrob revue also featuring Bow Wow, Omarion and Chris Brown.

Here's how it works: The performers (mostly boys) flash their abs and the audience (mostly girls) erupts in shrieking bedlam. There's plenty of dancing, a few wardrobe changes and even some singing and rapping. The jaunt comes hot on the heels of Bow Wow and Omarion's massively popular "Scream Tour" of last summer.

Thursday's engagement lasted nearly four hours -- kind of like "King Kong," but with 14,000 screaming ladies instead of just one.

This tweenage wasteland was probably the worst possible venue for Ciara, because (1) she's a girl, and (2) she's dating the show's most desired performer, headliner Bow Wow.

Two strikes against her, the critically anointed "Princess of Crunk & B" still came out swinging, crooning her cameo chorus to Missy Elliott's electro-banger "Lose Control." Clad in all black and aviator shades, she evoked a young Janet Jackson, circa "Rhythm Nation" -- a resemblance that wasn't merely sartorial. Like Jackson, Ciara's voice is smooth but thin, and her backing tracks did most of the work. But that didn't stop her from writhing and wriggling as if she's been taking belly-dancing lessons from Shakira.

And the audience? Totally unimpressed.

"I'm the only girl on this tour," Ciara told the legion of comatose young ladies. "I gotta rep for y'all!"

So the hits kept coming -- and flopping. Her breakthrough single "Goodies"? Yawn. The bouncy follow-up "1, 2 Step"? Shrug. Her forthcoming single "Hotline"? Flatlined. The harder Ciara worked the stage, the more despondent her audience became. But the quality of her songs, many of which she co-wrote, is undeniable. She'll be enjoying her career long after the audience members have removed their Bow Wow posters from their lockers.

While Ciara had to keep her shirt on, Chris Brown was the only singer on the bill who actually chose to. The overnight sensation eschewed the PG-13 striptease that the other male performers indulged in, instead popping and locking like an over-caffeinated Usher. It's hard to steal the show when you're allotted only 15 minutes onstage, but the kid came pretty close.

Here's why: He's actually singing up there! Brown sounded pitch-perfect while belting out his recently minted hits "Run It!" and "Yo (Excuse Me Miss)" with a full voice and enthusiasm to match.

Marques Houston's set was twice as long but didn't make half the impression, while Omarion coasted on exaggerated choreography and flirty stage prattle. Who needs to sing when you've got zingers like this: "This girl asked me, 'Omarion, do you have a girlfriend?' I couldn't lie. . . . I told her my girlfriend was the one screaming loudest in the crowd." (Insert ear-splitting banshee roar here.)

Bow Wow wasn't as chatty; it turns out the 18-year-old rapper was a little hoarse from the flu. He found some relief when Da Brat and Dem Franchize Boyz joined him onstage for "I Think They Like Me (Remix)," a tune on which Bow Wow sounds like an actual rapper, not just a pinup making words rhyme.

The true highlight came when Ciara returned to the stage to join her boyfriend for the sugary duet "Like You." As Bow Wow reached around her waist, the crowd's screeching reached its deafening peak. It was hard to tell whether they were shrieks of excitement or horrified jealousy.