Quote Cuisine

"Absolutely," says Ken Weinstein, the Hudson Institute's CEO. "We hired Marshall because he's a brilliant analyst of politics and someone who knows how to frame, um, ah, lemme -- he's a brilliant analyst of politics, number one, and number two, he has an ability to frame his analysis in a pithy -- ah, ah, allow me -- he has an extraordinary ability to say bluntly, ah, ah, what others think but can't bring themselves to say."

Which shows why Hudson needed a good quotemeister.

It worked, too: Wittmann -- and his Hudson connection -- were cited an astonishing 861 times in the media in 2001, according to Nexis.

During one week that May -- when Sen. Jim Jeffords quit the Republican Party, turning control of the Senate over to Democrats -- Wittmann achieved a spectacular feat of quotemeistering. His wisdom appeared almost everywhere, from the Financial Times ("not only is the president's honeymoon over, he now has a divorce on his hands") to the Seattle Times ("the question becomes why and the answer is hubris") to the New York Times ("Democrats taking over the committees in the Senate is the equivalent of the Bolsheviks taking over from the czar").

In a three-day period, Wittmann was quoted in news outlets 46 times -- an amazing average of 15.333 quotes per day !!! If he were a ballplayer, fans would have suspected he was on steroids.

'Slime and Defend'

And then he threw it all away.

Like Dodger pitching great Sandy Koufax, Wittmann quit the game at the height of his powers.

In September 2002 -- a year when he was quoted 640 times, according to Nexis -- Wittmann quit quotemeistering to take a job as press secretary to McCain, a job that required that he no longer be quoted by name.

McCain is the only pol on Earth who could have unplugged the Wittmann quote machine. Wittmann is absolutely gaga over McCain. "My great belief is that John McCain is the living embodiment of Teddy Roosevelt," he says.

He also says this: "I would crawl over a field of broken glass for him."

McCain likes Wittmann, too, although he doesn't get quite so gooey about it: "I admire his talent and his skill and I enjoy his company very much."

When Wittmann started working for McCain, people joked that he'd go crazy if he wasn't quoted. But that didn't happen. Wittmann maintained his sanity by being quoted anonymously -- on background, as they say in the news biz -- with his comments attributed to a "Republican Senate staffer" or a "Republican aide"

"I love background," he says, smiling. "Background is hilarious. A lot of journalists liked to call me on background because then they could have a Republican staffer saying heterodox things."

At a time when most Republicans were staying resolutely on-message, reporters were eager to find party dissidents. Wittmann fit the bill. He was increasingly angry at what he saw as his party's "unlimited thirst for power." And he wasn't shy about saying that -- as long as it was attributed to "a Republican aide."

In the fall of 2003, Wittmann talked to a New York Times reporter about the White House's role in the Valerie Plame scandal: "It's slime and defend," he said.

The Times printed the quote, attributing it to "one Republican aide." The next day, Wittmann's phrase -- "slime and defend" -- became the headline of Paul Krugman's column in the Times. The day after that, Sen. John Kerry quoted the phrase while denouncing Bush.

"This is classic Washington," Wittmann says, smiling. "Now when I read the newspapers, I know how these things happen. I wish everybody could have this experience."

Wittmann says he doesn't know if McCain realized who the dissident "Republican aide" was.

McCain says he did. "I would pick up the paper and read a quote and I'd know it was Marshall," he says. "The quote had Marshall written all over it -- a certain sarcasm but no meanness to it." But, the senator adds: "We had a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy in the office. I didn't ask and he didn't tell."

Vegetarians Next?

In the fall of 2004, Wittmann quit the Republican Party, changed his registration to Independent, endorsed Kerry for president and took a job at the Democratic Leadership Council.

"Marshall is one of the most effective critics of the Bush administration," says Bruce Reed, the DLC's president, who hired Wittmann. "We thought a guy with that mind should be on our side and not the other side. And he's an awful lot of fun to have around."

Ensconced at the DLC, Wittmann makes speeches, writes articles for the DLC's Blueprint magazine and lets off steam in his blog, http://www.bullmooseblog.com .

In this newest political incarnation, Wittmann is a pro-labor social conservative who supports the war in Iraq, while lambasting the Republicans as "an entrenched, corrupt establishment that is not guided by any sort of principles but rather just holding on to the perks of power by any means necessary."

Surprisingly, his old Republican comrades don't seem to hold any grudges.

"We're keeping a seat warm for him," says O'Beirne.

"Marshall reacts against the stifling orthodoxies he confronts, so he goes over to the other side," says William Kristol, editor of the conservative Weekly Standard. "On the other side, he finds the same idiotic orthodoxies, so he reacts against that."

"His politics have changed, but he's never lost his sense of idealism," says McCain, who can't resist adding a gentle dig at his friend: "I expect him to be employed by the vegetarians next. The vegetarians and the libertarians are the only groups he hasn't worked for yet."

Meanwhile, reporters keep calling, looking for zippy quotes on the issues of the day. Unmuzzled in his new job, Wittmann's Nexis total for 2005 surged to 444.

And now a reporter calls to ask a nagging question about Wittmann's career as a quotemeister: Why would anybody want to hear the views of a guy foolish enough to get mixed up with both the Sparticist League and the Christian Coalition?

"It's because I have a unique insight," he says. "Very few people have been on the inside of both the left and the right. And I'm not a complete critic or a complete admirer of either side. I'm a blend of both."

Maybe he's right. After all, he keeps getting hired.

And his phone keeps ringing.